While on my way to Moscow, ID/Pullman, WA, for the May 07 conference, I stopped in at Winnemucca, NV, for a to be a guest on Annie O'Sullivan's Radio Show, which is a very educational and uplifting show. Please check it out.
Moscow, ID/Pullman, WA
I met John and a couple of young ladies, in Hell's Canyon, who were Royalty for the Lewis County Fair. I had to stop and get this picture, for I felt if they could be in Hell's Canyon, and chase their dreams, then you can step out of your comfort zone, by starting today, to fulfill your dreams. Tomorrow may be to late.
Reno, NV and Boise ID were postponed until May 2014, We needed more time to put this event together, and funds to pay for the venues and gas.
While on my way to Moscow, ID/Pullman, WA, for the May 07 conference, I stopped in at Winnemucca, NV, for a to be a guest on Annie O'Sullivan's Radio Show, which is a very educational and uplifting show. Please check it out.
Sacramento, CA
We spoke in Sacramento, CA, at the Capitol Building. We were on the North Side, March of Dimes on the west side, and Save the wolves on the south side. Great day with some powerful and inspiring presentations.
April 27, Sacramento, CA, State Capital Building, North Side-1400 Tenth St., Sacramento, CA, 95814, Mark Sconce/Parent of Courtney Hannah Sconce, L. Rico Ozaki, Esq./My Sister's House, Misa Leonessa Garaveglia/Beyond Abuse Radio, Connie Lee/FACSAFoundation.org,
Missing were Cindy and Monster :) Thank you all for the hospitality
Eureka, CA
Thank you Rebecca Kimbel for the interview, good company, and friendly hospitality.
Trinidad Beach and Hwy 36
Come along with us to the Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project, April 25, 10-12:30 p.m., Aquatic Center,921 Waterfront Drive, Eureka, California 95501 Annie O'Sullivan/Can You Hear Me Now, Kelly Behr/Mountain Goddess Unplugged, Rebecca Kimble/Speaker/Author/Radio and Television Host, and Connie Lee/FACSAFoundation.org Don't miss these phenomenal speakers from your area! Please join us Thursday Morning to gain the tools and resources you need to empower community leaders, grandparents, and parents, to be the frontline defense for your children!
On My way to Eureka, I stopped in at the Watsonville, Sand Dollar Beach, where there are more whole sand dollars than you can shake a stick at :)
San Francisco Bridge
San Diego Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project at FACSAFoundation.org, with Carrie Christie and Susan Birger/IamSJK.com
Thank you Mika for hosting the Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project. I enjoyed collaborating with you on this event, and getting to know your family, Patti, Cameron, Harley, and Dixie.
Left to Right: Connie Lee/FACSA Foundation.org, Bo Budinsky/Save One Survivor, and Mike Moulton/Christophers Clubhouse
Logo Designed by Rose E. Grier
We would like to invite you to the debut of "The Cries of Nations" performed by the Cahedral City High School Choir and Palm Desert High School Drama Team, for the Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project (FACSAFoundation.org),Christophers Clubhouse.org, Bo Budinsky/Save One Survivor, and It Happens To Boys: Carol Teitlebaum, Randy Boyd, Scott Smith, Daniel Marquez. at the Salvation Army, 30-400 Landau Blvd.,Cathedral City, CA,April 17, 2013, 10-2p.m.
Connie Lee/FACSA Foundation/Founder/President 318.540.4464 FACSAFoundation.org facsasavethechildren@hotmail.com
Come along with us to the Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project, April 25, 10-12:30 p.m., Aquatic Center,921 Waterfront Drive, Eureka, California 95501 Annie O'Sullivan/Can You Hear Me Now, Kelly Behr/Mountain Goddess Unplugged, Rebecca Kimble/Speaker/Author/Radio and Television Host, and Connie Lee/FACSAFoundation.org Don't miss these phenomenal speakers from your area! Please join us Thursday Morning to gain the tools and resources you need to empower community leaders, grandparents, and parents, to be the frontline defense for your children!
San Diego Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project at FACSAFoundation.org, with Carrie Christie and Susan Birger/IamSJK.com
CRIES OF NATIONS
By: Connie Lee/FACSAFoundation.org
Performed BY: Cathedral City High School Choir
and Palm Desert High School Drama Department
Please come out for the debut performance "Cries Of Nations"
You Will Not Want To Miss This!
We would like to invite you to join us for the Nationwide Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project.
A joint venture of Christopher's Clubhouse and Connie Lee/FACSA Foundation.org,
Salvation Army: 30-400 Landau Blvd. Cathedral City, CA
April 17, 2013, 10 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. Free Public Attendance
Headed to Palm Springs, CA
The Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project is in Barstow, CA, at a McDonald's made out of an old train, working on upcoming events. Very cool! Pics below are of the trip from Las Vegas, Nevada to Barstow, CA. We are on our way to Palm Springs, CA for the conference, April 17, Palm Springs, Salvation Army, 30-400 Landau Blvd. Cathedral City, CA. 10-2 p.m. Mika Mouton/Christopher's Clubhouse, Bo Budinsky/SaveOneSurvivor, Connie Lee/FACSA Foundation.org, and It Happens to Boys: Carol Teitlebaum, Randy Boyd, Scott Smith, Daniel Marquez, Cathedral High School Choir and Mae LeRoy, and Palm Desert High School Drama Team, who will debut the riveting and emotional "The Cries Of Nations!" Please join us for this free conference. Christopher's Clubhouse and Mika Moulton are providing lunch.
Headed to Las vegas, Nevada.
Lake Mead, Boulder City, Nevada
Hoover Dam, Nevada
Las Vegas. This event was cancelled for we did not have the funds to pay for the venue.
I stopped by the Grand Canyon, after leaving Flagstaff, AZ. It was simply breath taking!
Thank you Little America for donating a room for me, while on the Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project, at FACSA Foundation.org. As you know, we stay at a lot of rest stops, truck stops, and Wal-Mart parking lots.
We have been in Roswell, NM all week for the Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project. The first thing I did when I arrived in town, was go to the Roswell Visitor's Center, the UFO Museum and the Art Museum. Posted below is some photos of both, as well the boy and girl reading on the pbench, which is located in front of the Roswell Public Library, where we held our conference. Thank you Mike Jaxson and all of your team, for the radio plug in on Pecos Valley Broadcasting Company, KSVP Radio, La Gran D 106.1, KZ93, and 106.5 Jack FM. We greatly appreciate your help for the FACSA Foundation.org It was a pleasure to meet the fine people of Roswell, NM, but now we are headed to ALbuquerque, NM, for a conference at the West Gate Library on 1300 Delgado St. Please join us on this incredible adventure, as we make change and crfeate a paradigm shift of child sexual assault and human traffficking, together. Your voice really does matter!!
Connie Lee/FACSA Foundation/Founder/President 318/540.4464 FACSAFoundation.org facsasavethechildren@hotmail.com
Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project: I am currently in Colby, KS, working on venues for upcoming free education'prevention conferences on child sexual assault prevention ...
I am currently in Colby, KS, working on venues for upcoming free education'prevention conferences on child sexual assault prevention and human trafficking prevention; and obtainging speakers and talent for the events. It is 18 degrees outside and us southern belles are not use to it being that cold. We are warm blooded creatures, and like to stay that way.
So, what is the Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project you ask? I am glad you asked and I would love to share about the incredible work we are doing with the tour, from the FACSAFoundation.org (Family and Friends Fighting Against Child Sexual Assault).
We are changing the social stigma of child sexual assault, public policies, conducting current research of community needs and assessment, educating communities on prevention and education of child sexual assault by hosting free conferences with local advocates; filming a documentary on survivors stories across the nation and how to heal from any trauma, not just child sexual assault and human trafficking, for people to thrive, rather than just surviving. It is time we learn to live, rather than merely exist.
We will be traveling across the nation on the Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project. We will be in each location for 4 days and three nights, 1) filming a documentary of adult child sexual assault survivors, the latest healing therapies and the best ones which have helped, and the latest technologies, which have helped them network, regain their lives and happiness through faith or therapy. 2)We will be conducting research on the current communities needs, which will enable us to design better programs for families and the current needs of our communities; We are askin, and to gain current statistics by sampling the population of the 10% of survivors who do tell, and gain a broader perspective of the 90% who do not tell.
We are asking academic professionals in pychology, sociology, statistics, churchs, students to assist the FACSA Foundation ShatteringThe Silence Project and this important work, by filling out the downloadable questionnaires and the online polls; or having your students get involved by answering the questionnaire, or sharing it with their peers. The research is a minimum of a year long project. The California Cognitive Behavioral Institute, www.theccbi.com There is a number for couselors to reach in case students or anyone needs to be consulted.
3) We will be hosting free nationwide 101 city Shattering The SIlence Tour conferences, advocating prevention and education of child abuse, child sexual assault, and human trafficking.
You can help by: 1) Sponsoring our event; call 318.540.4464 2) Volunteer your time to speak as we come to your area, if you are a speaker. 3) Donate in kind donations such as venues, hotel stays, gift cards, gas cards, restaurant gift cards, child sexual assault prevention and educational materials, promotional items, PA System, video equipment, cordless microphones, etc. 4)Volunteer your time and services helping to set up venues, pass out material, sit at booths, and technological assistance 5) Thank you so much for being willing to sever as a point person for the Holocaust of Innocence Tour in your city. Your upfront work will serve the tour well. We will be kicking off February 23, 2013 in Westerville, OH. What you can be working one now no matter when the tour is coming to your city: *locating free venues; libraries, churches, community centers, local universities, or outdoor venues. *approaching local/national businesses to see if they would like to sponsor the tour. Sponsor packages range from $300-20,000. All sponsorships are appreciated and needed. Don't be afraid to only seek 300.00 sponsors. I will appreciate this and this multiplied across the country does wonders. *contact local media and send them info on the tour. Radio and TV are both equally important. *contact local colleges and universities and ask if their film program would agree to tape the tour while it is in your city. *seeking local churches to deliver food and help with set up and break down. *contact the child advocacy center in your location and see if they will give postcards for us to hand out. *one person per city mapquest the locations for your town, print them and bring them to the first venue for that city. *post city dates, and locations to your facebook page. *invite law makers to the event. *print post cards for your city with location venues and times give out to libraries, churches, high schools, community organizations, friends and law enforcement.
The Shattering The SIlence Tour and Documentary
The Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary/Research Project February 23, 2013, will begin from Oklahoma City, Ok (which due to inclement weather was cancelled). We will tour the U.S. prevention and education of child sexual advocating prevention of child sexual assault, researching the current needs of our communities, and producing a film documentary of the process. The Holocaust of Innocence is the time someone is sexually assaulted, they are never the same, having trust and emotional issues the rest of their lifetime.
The Shattering The Silence Tour will consist of speakers, personal testimonies from survivors, art, music, poetry, which will be displayed on the virtual and physical Shattering The Silence Wall. We are very excited for you to join us along this journey and we look forward to seeing you on the tour!
This is a preliminary schedule of the highly anticipated Shattering The Silence Tour. We will stop in at churches, businesses, and organizations, throughout the tour, to present the program for donations. The venues will continually change and more speaking engagements will be added, throughout this process. Please spread the word! If you would like for us to come through your area, please call Connie Lee, at 318.540.4464 Please look in the speakers table at the top of this site for speakers bios and pictures, which are being added daily. FACSA Foundation Shattering The Silence Spring/Summer Tour and Documentary Project Due to events scheduled throughout the year, the schedule may change or not follow sequence. If you would like for us to stop in your area, church, or business, please call Connie Lee, 318.540.4464, or email us at facsasavethechildren@hotmail.com
Please join us tonight, March 05, 2013, Oakley, KS, 6:00 p.m. - 8:30 p.m., Northwest Kansas Service Center, 703 West Second Street, Oakley, KS 67748.
If you can not make it, please join us online and follow this incredible journey!! We hope to see you in a town near you!!
Connie Lee/FACSA Foundation/Founder/President 318.540.4464 FACSAFoundation.org facsasavethechildren@hotmail.com
18 degrees today and Snow at Wal-Mart, in Colby, KS, outside of Oakley, KS (We don't see this at home folks :)
Creating A Paradigm Shift: The Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project by the FACSA Foundation
We have traveled across the country this past fall, to create a paradigm shift in the way America and the world views, thinks, and discusses/ or not discusses, the multi-generational epidemic called child sexual assault, which has plagued our nations, since the dawn of time.
By traveling to 36 cities for the winter Shattering The Silence and Documentary Tour, we have networked with some powerful allies, advocates, supporters, and survivors, each of whom, are doing their part in their communities to combat child sexual assault and human trafficking. Now, we are becoming a unified voice, for there is strength in numbers. No longer, are we fighting alone! We have formed an army of advocates to say, “Enough Is Enough” for “We Will Not Be Silent Anymore!” We are becoming modern day abolitionist, for human trafficking has become a 32 billion dollar profit industry, affecting each state; not just somewhere overseas. With the economy, it will get worse.
You many think child sexual assault and human trafficking does not affect you, but it does. It costs states 124 billion dollars directly, to cover the expenses of children who have been traumatized at such an early age, according to the CDC. http://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2012/p0201_child_abuse.html
This breaks down to if a child is sexually assaulted, they may develop medical problems due to the tears and fractures of abuse, and pregnancy from the rapes; mental health problems may result in survivors trying to commit suicide or numb the pain through drugs and alcohol; thus also affecting the educational system if they can no longer focus and function in school; and the judicial system when their anger is illustrated in criminal activity; all of which, you pay for with your tax dollars. It is more cost effective to be proactive, to get involved, and tell or report what you suspect because the truth always comes out. I would much rather live with the regret of being wrong, than the regret of knowing my silence is enabling a child to be raped or abused, on a daily basis!
We left home on 300.00, a wing, and a prayer. I have slept in hotels, truck stops, and rest areas. We have funded this tour through small donations, and my sales from being a Legal Shield Associate. http://legalshield.com/hub/lee_c, which is a prepaid legal service, with excellent attorneys, free consultations, and a discounted legal fees for court appearances. We utilize their services to hire outside attorneys because we seem to be fighting a “Good “Ol Boy Justice System across America, at the expense of our children; which only perpetuates more violence in the homes, and more children being abused and murdered. According to the DOJ and Childhelp, five children die a day from abuse and neglect. http://www.childhelp.org/pages/statistics
So if sleeping in my car at a truck stop or rest stop is required to facilitate change for children who cry through the night, and for children who are not believed or protected from their families, then it is worth it. Some children are sold by their parents, swapped to other friends for favors or drugs, or raped as often as the perpetrator, dad, uncle, neighbor, or whoever can, while the mom does nothing for fear of retribution, fear of losing her livelihood and security, with no regard to how devastating this is for the child.
I have heard people say, “They need to forget and move on.” That is impossible, because trauma creates new neuropath ways in the brain, which can only be healed as survivors work out these processes through counseling and different healing modalities. This is why the research and filming of new healing modalities, and most effective counseling techniques, is vital to our communities. For everyone has survived trauma in their lives and need these resources. We can no longer be the generation to turn away in indifference! This Is Not Our generation and We Will Not Be Silent Anymore! Child sexual Assault is held in shame secrecy, and lies. Now, a new day is dawning! Survivors are speaking out and finding their voice, and regaining the power they always had, but had beaten down until they no longer thought it possible to live rather than merely exist; and Speak their truths! This house of cards is tumbling down, for “We Will Not be Silent Anymore!”
With the Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project, we are changing the social stigma of child sexual assault, public policies, conducting current research of community needs and assessment, educating communities on prevention and education of child sexual assault by hosting free conferences with local advocates to teach grandparents, parents, and community leaders to be the front-line defense for our children; filming a documentary on survivors stories across the nation and how to heal from any trauma, not just child sexual assault and human trafficking, for people to thrive, rather than just surviving. It is time we learn to live, rather than merely exist.
We will be traveling across the nation to 86 cities, on the Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project Spring/Summer Tour. We will be in each location for 4 days and three nights,
1) filming a documentary of adult child sexual assault survivors, the latest healing therapies and the best ones which have helped, and the latest technologies, which have helped them network, regain their lives and happiness through faith or therapy.
2)We will be conducting research on the current community’s needs, which will enable us to design better programs for families and the current needs of our communities; We are gathering current statistics by sampling the population of the 10% of survivors who do tell, and gain a broader perspective of the 90% who do not tell.
We are asking academic professionals in psychology, sociology, statistics, churches, students to assist the FACSA Foundation Shattering The Silence Project and this important work, by filling out the downloadable questionnaires and the online polls; or having your students get involved by answering the questionnaire, or sharing it with their peers. The research is a minimum of a yearlong project. The California Cognitive Behavioral Institute, www.theccbi.com There is a number for counselors to reach in case students or anyone needs to be consulted.
3) We will be hosting free nationwide 86 city Shattering The Silence Tour conferences, advocating prevention and education of child abuse, child sexual assault, and human trafficking.
My name is Connie Lee and I am the Founder/President of the FACSA Foundation (Family and Friends Fighting Against Child Sexual Assault), in Springhill, La. We are a nonprofit 501 (c) (3) status company, with an all-volunteer staff. The FACSA Foundation provides support services for families of child sexual assault, such as attorney’s, counselors, support group, guidance, and what each family needs for their case. We also educate the community on prevention of child sexual assault, through our programs such as the Good Touch/Bad Touch Program from ChildHelp USA; Kid’s Safe ID Kit’s from the National Exploited Children’s Foundation; and the FACSA Defense Program, where we go to schools for free to teach teens about abusive dating relationships, warning signs, and 30 minutes of hands on self-defense. I have a Bachelors of Science in Psychology; I am a public speaker and an event planner.
We have found there is a social injustice in America and across the world, which has been happening for decades, which is the Holocaust of Innocence. The Holocaust of Innocence is a time someone is sexually assaulted it affects the rest of their life, and every decision they will ever make. Child Sexual Assault is a multi-generational epidemic which has been going on since the dawn of time. Yet, we would like to know where is the outrage, when children all over the world suffer, and the person who should protect them does not? Where are the cries from the communities, who turn away in indifference, and continue to allow children to be raped, murdered, and exploited, on a daily basis for the economic and sexual gratification of a moraless society? What will it take for you to no longer allow such atrocities to continue around you, in your community, and in your home? Our children deserve so much more than they have been given. There are other ways to provide financial support to communities, than using and abusing our children, and stealing their souls! Human Trafficking has now become a 32 billion dollar profit industry, surpassing the drug industry; and it happens here in America, in your neighborhood, and in your country. Our children did not ask to be here, we brought them here. Isn’t it time we as a caring society, who fight for animal rights, environmental rights, and so on, fight for what is most important, our children; and the future of our society? We say we are a caring a giving people, yet we do not care for our veterans who fought for this country and our freedom; we do not care for the homeless, many who are vets going through a hard time; and we allow such atrocities to happen to our most innocent of all, our children. My heart aches for the children, and the abuse, torture, and sexual exploitation which happens in their own homes; where they are supposed to feel safe.
How long shall our children suffer before we say, “Enough is Enough”? How long before we step between that child and her loving, monstrous parent or grandparent, who is raping that child as often as they can, before we cry out, “Enough, I Will Not Be Silent Anymore”? How long can our children cling to hope, when we as a society turn away in indifference, because it is too hard to listen to; or we are to busy and don’t want to deal with a heavy topic before work or dinner? When will you stand up and say, “This Is Not Our Generation, and we refuse to be silent anymore”?
We have decided that day is today! The days of victims remaining silent are long gone with Jerry Sandusky. Today, we have listened! Today, we have heard our children and their silent cries through the nights! Today, we are taking action! We began the “Shattering The Silence Tour” from Shreveport, LA. August 01, 2012- September 01, 2013. We will continue the journey, until we are no longer needed. Organizations, advocates, supporters, businesses, and churches across America, Africa, Australia, Canada, Ghana, India, New Zealand, Nigeria, Pakistan, Russia, and the U.K. have joined us, to stand together in fighting for our children and the prevention of child sexual assault; and to become modern day Abolitionists! Now, I am passing the torch to you! Run with it, advocate and fight for our children with us!
Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project! Join us today!
We will be traveling across the nation on the Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project. We will be in each location for 4 days and three nights,
1) filming a documentary of adult child sexual assault survivors, the latest healing therapies and the best ones which have helped, and the latest technologies, which have helped them network, regain their lives and happiness through faith or therapy.
2)We will be conducting research on the current communities needs, which will enable us to design better programs for families and the current needs of our communities; We are askin, and to gain current statistics by sampling the population of the 10% of survivors who do tell, and gain a broader perspective of the 90% who do not tell.
We are asking academic professionals in pychology, sociology, statistics, churchs, students to assist the FACSA Foundation ShatteringThe Silence Project and this important work, by filling out the downloadable questionnaires and the online polls; or having your students get involved by answering the questionnaire, or sharing it with their peers. The research is a minimum a year long project. The California Cognitive Behavioral Institute, www.theccbi.com There is a number for couselors to reach in case students or anyone needs to be consulted.
3) We will be hosting free nationwide 36 city Shattering The SIlence Tour conferences, advocating prevention and education of child abuse, child sexual assault, and human trafficking.
1) Sponsoring our event; call 318.540.4464
2) Volunteer your time to speak as we come to your area, if you are a speaker.
3) Donate in kind donations such as venues, hotel stays, gift cards, gas cards, restaurant gift cards, child sexual assault prevention and educational materials, promotional items, PA System, video equipment, cordless microphones, etc.
4)Volunteer your time and services helping to set up venues, pass out material, sit at booths, and technological assistance
5) Thank you so much for being willing to sever as a point person for the Holocaust of Innocence Tour in your city.
Your upfront work will serve the tour well.
We will be kicking off August 1, 2012 in Shreveport, LA.
What you can be working one now no matter when the tour is coming to your city:
*locating free venues; libraries, churches, community centers, local universities, or outdoor venues.
*approaching local/national businesses to see if they would like to sponsor the tour.
Sponsor packages range from $300-20,000. All sponsorships are appreciated and needed. Don't be afraid to only seek 300.00 sponsors. I will appreciate this and this multiplied across the country does wonders.
*contact local media and send them info on the tour. Radio and TV are both equally important.
*contact local colleges and universities and ask if their film program would agree to tape the tour while it is in your city.
*seeking local churches to deliver food and help with set up and break down.
*contact the child advocacy center in your location and see if they will give postcards for us to hand out.
*one person per city mapquest the locations for your town, print them and bring them to the first venue for that city.
*post city dates, and locations to your facebook page.
*invite law makers to the event.
*print post cards for your city with location venues and times give out to libraries, churches, high schools, community organizations, friends and law enforcement.
The Shattering The SIlence Tour and Documentary
The Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary/Research Project August 1, 2012, will begin from Shreveport, Louisiana. We will tour the U.S. prevention and education of child sexual advocating prevention of child sexual assault, researching the current needs of our communities, and producing a film documentary of the process. The Holocaust of Innocence is the time someone is sexually assaulted, they are never the same, having trust and emotional issues the rest of their lifetime. http:// theholocaustofinnocence.blogspot.com/
The Shattering The Silence Tour will consist of speakers, personal testimonies from survivors, art, music, poetry, which will be displayed on the virtual and physical Shattering The Silence Wall. We are very excited for you to join us along this journey and we look forward to seeing you on the tour, and at the Million Survivor March and two day Rally, March 02-03, 2013, at the Jefferson Memorial, in Washington D.C.
Travyon Martin/ Where Is The Outrage At The Injustice!
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
All over the news and media reports, we continue to hear about the tragic death of 17 year old,Travyon Martin, who was a Florida black youth shot to death last month, by a George Zimmerman, who was of Hispanic/ Anglo ancestry. It has provoked an outrage of injustice in most of us; and yet others remain indifferent. So tell me, why did Travyon’s Unjust and Untimely death make national news and not the other story?
Awful… Black Youths Douse Student With Gas & Torch Him, “This Is What You Deserve, White Boy” (Video)
Posted by Jim Hoft on Sunday, March 4, 2012, 9:17 PM
Two black youths chased a 13 year-old Kansas City student home from school doused him with gasoline and flicked a Bic at him. They were screaming, “This is what you deserve. You get what you deserve, white boy.”
The boy suffered first degree burns on his face. He did not know the perpetrators. KCTV reported:
A 13-year-old Kansas City boy is back home after two teenagers poured gasoline on him and lit him on fire. It happened Tuesday at the teen’s home on Quincy Avenue, just down the street from Kansas City’s East High School. The boy lives less than two blocks away from the school and was walking home when the attack happened. Melissa Coon said her son turned from the school’s stadium onto Quincy Avenue and noticed two teenagers following him. She said the teens followed her son home and attacked him outside his front door. “And they rushed him on the porch as he tried to get the door open,” she said. “(One of them) poured the gasoline, then flicked the Bic, and said, ‘This is what you deserve. You get what you deserve, white boy’.”http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2012/03/awful-black-youths-douese-student-with-gas-torch-him-screaming-this-is-what-you-deserve-white-boy/
I have seen Reverend Al Sharpton or Jessie Jackson at Travyon's defense, but I have not heard them comment on the case of two Kansas black youth, who chased a white student down, dowsed hime with gasoline, and yelled, "You get what you deserve. This is what you deserve white boy, as they set him on fire." I am sure their presence may make a difference, but it needs to be consistent. Every day, children are losing their lives, because of gangs and racial tension in America; whether they are Black, White, Asian, Mexican, Italian, Russian, or what other nationality that intertwines our lives together. There should be a continual outcry for all of their lives, for each child is just as important as the other, leaving behind grieving families, friends, and communities.
Tyler Perry was pulled over for an illegal turn from the right lane. When he tuned left; he had put his signal on and was trying to move into the left lane. Two Atlanta, GA. Police officers began to harass Tyler because he mentioned he had been watching over his rear view mirror, to make sure he had not been followed. Did they think he was some psychotic black man; or were they racially profiling and harassing him? Thank God, Tyler’s mom is still watching over him, and he was diligent enough to still listen to “Momma’s Great Life Lesson’s”, guiding him daily. During the questioning, Tyler confused and upset at this point, realized the officer was trying to turn off the ignition. Tyler instinctively reached for the keys in the cup holder, when he remembered his mother’s sage advice, which had been brought up in the Louisiana southern days of slavery and hangings. Remembering the keys were attached to a leather strap, Tyler made no fast movements and dropped the keys. The environment was confusing and hostile for Tyler and should never of happened, if the officers had done their job in a professional manner. If a black officer had not arrived on the scene, and calmed an escalating situation, Tyler’s situation might would have ended more questionably. Other officers have apologized for their comrade’s bad behavior, but that does not change the fact that we live in 2012, and racial hatred is so predominate. On Tyler’s Good Deeds facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/#!/thetylerperry , you can follow some very interesting and raw comments on how people really feel about race in America.
We are living in a highly technologically advanced era, yet still adhere to draconian racial beliefs. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said it best when he said,
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr
Isn’t it time we lay down the old system of prejudices and discriminations, which hold us back. We cannot move forward, while still holding on to the past. We are all racist at some point or another, and will stand up for that old belief system. As Dr. Phil would say, “How is that working for you?” With racial tensions at an all-time high in 2012, we have got to stop and ask ourselves “WHY”? Why do we carry on the hatred of our forefathers? Why do we continue the prejudice of family lineage, when we know there is good and bad in all of us? Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born in another time. - Chinese Proverb
Anderson Cooper had a new race related study on his show, http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2012/04/02/study-race-relations-through-a-childs-eyes/, which talked about children as young as 7 have already developed racial line ethics. Michael John Hourigan Jr. quotesresearch shows that children develop ethnic attitudes by age three and systematic racial prejudices between 5-7yrs of age. This was found by Houlette et al., 2004 Children are not born with racial hatred, it is taught. Our behaviors are formed early in life; and how we perceive the world around us, what mate we choose, what perpetual bad behavior we find is our comfort zone, now becomes our way of life. This only creates another multi-generation epidemic of abuse and racial hatred. "While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions." - Stephen R. Covey
We can say we are not racially biased, for if we do, we are lying to ourselves. When you look down on another human being as having less value than yourself, you are racially biased. Please tell me, who gives another person the right to treat someone else like a second class citizen? Don’t we all deserve to be treated with respect and kindness? It does not mean you have to agree with everyone; nor does it mean you have to set aside your rights and beliefs, because another is more vocal about their demands. Ronald Regan said, “If we lose freedom here, there is no place else. This is the last stand on earth.”
For when one race or religion continually cries out to be heard and silence the voice of other’s, that becomes tyranny not freedom of religion or speech.
The government continues to make allowances to be politically correct, and strips away, piece by piece, our civil liberties for the righteousness of a few, we all lose. You will never regain those freedoms; and we cannot afford to let that happen!
We live in the greatest land with opportunity to become whatever we wish. I am not rich, and worked hard every day of my life. We have to overcome all of the negativity that surrounds us each day, and tell ourselves that we deserve better. It is at that moment that we have to decide, if we want a better life for ourselves and our family, that we cannot continue living the same way we have yesterday. We have let pain hold us back; past transgressions hold us back; cultural and religious beliefs hold us back; and fear of change, fear of stepping out of our comfort zone, and fear of the unknown, to keep us from our dreams; and becoming the best we can be. I say, “Never Let Your Fears Over Ride Your Dreams!”
Yes, everyone you meet will have today will bring with them, their own personal grief and tragedy; so don’t judge them so harshly. Many times their reactions are based on the pain, anger, and frustration of other events, and not directed at you personally; but then again, sometimes we mess up, and stand to be corrected. I have been through my own hell, trials, and tribulations, but not making something good out of the trauma, would be the greatest tragedy of all. You and I have people around us who are counting on us to change our surroundings, our environment, our communities, and our culture. We cannot afford to pass down another legacy of hatred to our next generation. Our children, the world’s children, and God’s children, deserve so much better! Enough is enough! The change starts with you. You are responsible and accountable for your actions, and no one else. If you don’t like your life, change it. At any given moment you have the power to say this is not how your story is going to end. Only you have the power to define yourself! Arise - transcend thyself! Thou art man & the whole nature of man is to become more than himself" - Sri Aurobindo
FACSA Foundation (Family and Friends Fighting Against Child Sexual Assault)
We had better learn to doubt our inflated fears before they destroy us. Valid fears have their place; they cue us to danger. False and [overdrawn] fears only cause hardship.
-Barry Glassner
1 in 3 girls are sexually assaulted before their 18th birthday
1 in 6 boys are sexually assaulted before their eighteenth birthday
45% of sexual assault victims are under the age of 12
Only 10% ever report the crime, due to fear, shame retaliation from family, and/or perpetrators, children are threatened to keep it secret, etc.
90% never report, which leaves the perpetrator in our schools, homes, businesses, churches, organizations, and in our communities. (The next time you are in a crowd think of these sobering facts.)
Child sexual assault victims who knew their perpetrator; 34.2 percent were family members; and 58.7 percent were acquaintances. Only eleven percent of child victims reported that strangers abused them.
So, who is your neighbor? Are they someone you love and admire, someone you loathe and hate, someone you are indifferent to, or do you have no idea?
With summer approaching, children will be busy playing in the neighborhoods, raising funds in the community, and home more often. Make sure your children are safe, have a buddy system; and if they are going to solicit funds from neighbors, to do so with a buddy or a trusted adult. Education and awareness of sex offenders in our communities is to help keep our children and communities safer; it is not to increase fear. Sex offenders have always lived in our communities, worked around our children, went to our churches, you have eaten dinner at a restaurant with sex offenders, and have probably worked at the same job location as sex offenders. What is more alarming, are the sexual predators that remain undetected in our homes, neighborhoods, and have daily access to our children. It is sad that child sexual assault has become a multi-generational epidemic because of family secrecy, social status, socio-economic stability, believing the perpetrator over the child because you don’t want to lose the love of your life, or just plain indifference to what is going on around you in your home, in your neighborhood, or in your community.
In the Springhill, Louisiana area, we have 10 registered sex offenders. Sex offenders, by law, are to live 1000 feet from schools, daycares, bus stops, parks, or any other place with children’s events. La. Rev. Stat. Ann. § 14:91.1 (2006). As originally enacted, the statute prohibited sexually violent predators from living within 1,000 feet of schools, 2004 La. Acts 178. In 2004, the Louisiana legislature amended the statute by adding day care centers, playgrounds, public and private youth centers, swimming pools and free standing video arcades to the list of places sex offenders were barred from living near.
My research concluded, out of the ten sex offenders registered in Springhill, La., there was one in question, that lived within the 1000 feet near schools, daycares, parks, arcades, swimming pools or public and private youth centers; as of my knowledge.
????? Some sex offenders lived just beyond the 1000 feet barrier, while others lived blocks away in heavily populated neighborhoods with children. Unless the courts order differnetly, sex offenders can live where they choose. Many people feel sex offenders need to locate to areas that have less children populated areas, not more densely populated areas. Informing the public by providing relevant and necessary information to the community can develop constructive plans to prepare themselves and their children for their continued healthy emotional, physical, and psychological development. Our local sheriff’s department, and Gary Sexton, is handling this person’s case on an unrelated matter.
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Sex Offenders are classified as Tier 1, Tier 2, and Tier 3.
Risk Level 1 Notification
A risk level 1 notification is information of registered sex/kidnapping offenders that is shared with other law enforcement agencies. Upon request, relevant, necessary and accurate information may be released to any victims or witnesses to the offense and to any individual community member who lives near the residence where the offender resides, expects to reside, or is regularly found. Level 1 offender may not be the subject of public notification (with the exception of homeless or transient level 1 sex/kidnap offenders).
Risk Level 2 Notification
A risk level 2 notification is information of registered sex/kidnapping offenders that may be released to public and private schools, child day care centers, family day care providers, businesses and organizations that serve primarily children, women, or vulnerable adults, and neighbors in community groups near the offender's residence, or where the offender expects to reside, or is regularly found. Registration information on Level 2 offenders may be generally released to the public (such as offenders who have failed to register or are transient or homeless).
Risk Level 3 Notification
A risk level 3 notification is information of registered sex/kidnapping offenders that may be generally released such as with Level 2 offenders and in addition includes news media releases. Any person may review level 2 or level 3 community notices at the Sheriff's Office Records Division. The Sex & Kidnapping Offender Community Notification book only contains notices prepared and distributed by the Sheriff's Office.
The murder of Poly Klaas, in 1993, highlighted child sexual assault abductions and murders, as Poly’s case gained national media attention and an overwhelming public outcry. Marc Klaas has been instrumental in federal and state legislative efforts to promote prevention programs for at-risk youth, stronger sentencing for violent criminals and governmental accountability and responsibility. Often times this advocacy takes the form of legislative testimony; helping to enact Sex Offender Registries Residential restrictions. Marc Klaas is now the volunteer president of the KlaasKids Foundation and president of Beyond Missing, Inc. Mr. Klaas sits on the advisory boards of the Center for the Community Interest; Fight Crime Invest in Kids and the National Children's Advocacy Center.
In 2005, the highly publicized murders of Carlie Brucia, 11, and Jessica Lunsford, 12, played a significant role in new sex offender residency restrictions proposed and enacted in 2005 and 2006. Joseph Brucia helped enact Carlie’s Law for tougher parole rules for sex offenders. Carlie’s attacker was out on probation 13 months prior to her brutal assault and murder.
After the murder of Jessica Lunsford the Jessica Lunsford Act; creates Jessica Lunsford Act; revises sexual predator criteria; requires twice yearly reregistration by sexual predators; provides criminal offenses for failing to reregister, failing to respond to address verification, failing to report or providing false information about sexual predator, & harboring or concealing sexual predator; requires electronic monitoring for certain offenders placed on conditional release supervision, etc. Amends FS.
Research has shown that stranger abductions are about 11% of the cases, compared to family abduction during a custody or a divorce battle, runaways, lost, injured or otherwise missing children, and nonfamily abductions (in these cases, the child is at greatest risk of injury or death).
The first three hours are critical for the police to find your missing child; and why it is imperative to keep a current picture I.D., with birthdate, parents name, address, and phone number. You can purchase Kid’s Safe I.D. Kit’s from the FACSA Foundation, facsasavethechildren.com, facsasavethechildren@hotmail.com, or (318) 539-2571.
The best national estimates for the number of missing children are found in the National Incidence Studies of Missing, Abducted, Runaway, and Thrownaway Children (NISMART-2), released in October 2002. According to NISMART-2, an estimated
800,000 children younger than 18 are missing each year, or an average of 2,000 children reported missing each day.
200,000 children were abducted by family members.
58,000 children were abducted by nonfamily members, and
115 children were the victims of “stereotypical” kidnapping. These crimes involve someone the child does not know, or knows only slightly, who holds the child overnight, transports the child 50 miles or more, kills the child, demands ransom, or intends to keep the child permanently.
[Andrea J. Sedlak, David Finkelhor, Heather Hammer, and Dana J. Schultz. U.S. Department of Justice. "National Estimates of Missing Children: An Overview" in National Incidence Studies of Missing, Abducted, Runaway, and Thrownaway Children. Washington, DC: Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice, October 2002, page 5.]
If most child sexual assault predators are not reported, and are someone the victim knows, where do they come from and how can you recognize them?
Most sexual predators are family members, a live in boyfriend, a neighbor, a trusted coach, pastor, leader of the community, or anyone that you would not suspect. They often gain the families trust; may shower the family and the child with gifts; offer the child drugs and alcohol to seduce and threaten the child into silence; may take the child on trips or “special places’; will tell the child that no one understands them or cares for them like the perpetrator, turning the child away from the family, or anyone that would advise against their manipulative tactics; thus leaving the child open to continued exploitation, abuse, secrecy, and trauma. The perpetrator will take as long as they need, grooming the child and family for years even. Child sexual assault predators are usually someone who does not want to draw attention to their addictions, are sociopathic liars, very manipulative, charming, will go to extreme lengths to keep their secrets. They usually abuse many children, and often groom several at the same time. A child sexual predator is not the guy standing on the street corner; and looks like anyone else in your community; in your church; in your business; in your organization; in your school; in your neighborhood; and in your family; because they usually are.
In child sexual assault case victims who knew their perpetrator; 34.2 percent were family members; and 58.7 percent were acquaintances. Only seven percent of child victims reported that strangers abused them.
With that said, human trafficking has become a 32 billion dollar profit industry, making it the world’s largest illegal market. There Are 600,000-800,000 Humans Trafficked Internationally; 70% Humans Trafficked Are Female; 80% Humans Trafficked Are Children; 1.2 Million Children. Humans trafficked are forced into:
The Sex Trade
Domestic Servitude
Carpet Factories
Cotton Trade
Kiln Trade
Massage Parlors
Brothels
Chocolate Trade
Garment Factories
Organ Trade
In Mali, The Price Of A Child Is $30.00
And Can Be Bargained Down To A $1.20
Each Year 20,000 Ethiopia Children Are Sold For $1.20 Each
1.2 Million People, Men, Women, Boys, and Girls Each YearContact:
Antislavery.org
Jfci.org
Worldvision.org
Notforsalecampaign.com
C Contact:
Antislavery.org
Jfci.org
Worldvision.org
Notforsalecampaign.com
I.C.E www.ice.gov/tips or call (866) 347-2423 (U.S., Mexico and Canada) or (802) 872-6199 (other countries
Many times parents, grandparents, school officials, family, and friends are confronted
with a situation, such as child sexual assault and are not sure how to handle it. Child Sexual assault happens to children from ages 0-18. It is most often family members or acquaintances, someone the child knows. Sexual abuse can include, fondling, touching, kissing, inappropriate gestures, pornography with the child, to sexual assault. While it is defined by judges, lawyers, city and school officials differently, the effects of child sexual assault remain the same, devastating to the child, with lifelong consequences. If you suspect your child is being abused or sexually assaulted, we are listing a few helpful hints and guidelines to guide you.
Children will explore their bodies and this is normal. It is not normal when their behavior
is not in context to how they typically behave.
If they become more aggressive
become unable to focus(and have other sexual assault signs) burst into tears for no reason
are inappropriately touching their dolls or animals
begin to hurt animals
may become, shy, withdrawn, or have mood swings
depressed
began using drugs
become promiscuous
start bed wetting
fearful of a certain adult, places, or things
nightmares
unexplained bruises or rashes around mouth or genital areas
If you suspect a child has been sexually assaulted you need to contact authorities. You have to consider the best interest of the child, not the perpetrators social standing, parental basis, or dismissing it because it isn't happening to you. If they can hurt this child, they can hurt your children, grandchildren, or the children of the people you love.
Make the call to your local Child Protective Services and/or police department at 911 or
Always remember, it is not the child's fault. Even if a teen is promiscuous, adults must be responsible adults and dismiss themselves from the situation.
I am very proud of Governor Jindal’s tough stance on child protection legislation he has enacted, on behalf children and families, in the State of Louisiana.
“Child sexual assault does not discriminate for pain knows no color, race, religion, gender, or age.” Connie Lee
February is National Teen Dating Violence Prevention Month
How many of you are familiar with the Chris Brown assault upon his girlfriend Rhianna? Chris Brown and Rhianna are two pop stars, who made national headlines when Chris beat Rhianna after they fought over a text message from another girl. Regardless of how angry he got her, he had no right to hit her; and he should have walked away when he got that angry. How do you think he should have responded to this situation? Since this was not the first time he had beaten her, why do you think she stayed? What do you think she could have done to prevent the abuse from her partner? According to some teens they feel this is common in relationships, and unfortunately, this has become there comfort zone. Statistics show that one in three teenagers has experienced violence in a dating relationship. In dating violence, one partner tries to maintain power and control over the other through abuse.
If you will look around your classroom, church, auditorium, or any public setting and think of these statistics, as you take a mental snapshot of your classmates. One in three girls are sexually assaulted before the age 18 and one of six boys; and that is only the ones who have reported it. 90% of sexually assaulted children never report it. They don't report being raped by an abuser, a family member, their partner, or a stranger because of shame, feeling dirty, wondering what they did to deserve it, they don't want to break up the family, feel like no one will believe them, or does not want to get the abuser in trouble. This also allows the perpetrator to hurt someone else because they don't stop, seldom change w/o counseling, and you can't fix them.
Regardless of age, Teen and adult abusive partners will demonstrate some of the following classic abusive behaviors:
At first they shower you with a lot of affection, gifts, and love. Then they become very
Controlling what you say; who you talk to; where you go; and how you dress
excessively texts you
belittling you in front of friends and family
Hitting you; leaving bruises and cuts
verbally abusing you
isolating you from friends and family
emotional outburst
uses force in arguments
always blames others for their mistakes and faults
sexually assaults you
·believe their partners are their possession; then they become obsessed with them, which can lead to stalking:
·Stalking isthe willful and repeated following, watching, and / or harassing of another person. Most of the time, the purpose of stalking is to attempt to force a relationship with someone who is unwilling or otherwise unavailable. Unlike other crimes, which usually involve one act, stalking is a series of actions that occur over a period of time. Although stalking is illegal, the actions that contribute to stalking are legal, such as gathering information, calling someone on the phone, sending gifts, emailing or instant messaging. Such actions by themselves are not usually abusive, but can become abusive when frequently repeated over time.http://law.findlaw.com/state-laws/stalking/louisiana/
Willful, malicious, and repeated following or harassing with intent to place in fear of death or bodily injury.
Punishment/Classification
Maximum 1 year jail and $1000 fine. If had dangerous weapon: fine $1,000 and/or jail 1 year. If stalking and protective order for same victim, or criminal proceeding for stalking victim or injunction: jail 90 days minimum and 2 years maximum and/or fined maximum $5,000. If victim under 18, maximum 1 year and/or $2000 fine. Note: anyone over 13 who stalks a child 12 and under and is found to have placed child in reasonable fear of death or bodily injury of family member shall be punished by 1 year minimum, 3 years maximum in jail and/or $1,500 minimum, $5,000 maximum fine
Penalty for Repeat Offense
If 2nd within 7 years: jail minimum 180 days and maximum 3 years and/or fined maximum $5,000. If 3rd or subsequent within 7 years: jail minimum 2 years and maximum 5 years and/or fined maximum $5,000
Abusers will try to isolate you from your family, do not let them. If you find yourself or someone you know in an abusive relationship talk to a teacher, family member, pastor, counselor, or call the FACSA Foundation. The important thing is to tell.
So how do young men and young women get involved partner, when they should know better and leave? Out of 6 billion people in the world, why do we fall in love with the partners we choose? You can walk into a room of people and may find many attractive, but there will be one who captivates your interest more than the others because of pheromones. Your nose emits odorless chemicals called pheromones that peeks your interest around a certain individual. Guys like to impress girls with their status, wit, charm, physical appearance, humor, and talents. While ladies like to impress the guys by twirling their fingers in their hair, batting their eyes, acting sweet and charming, or pretending to be interested in something they could care less about. Now guys, this does not mean you can put your sweaty armpits in the girl’s faces to make them fall madly in love with; this will probably get you hit a few times.
Another factor, besides being a hormonal teenager, is the fact that, as we grow up, we watch our parents every day. We see them laugh together, love each other, or we see them argue with one another, cheat on one another, lie to each other, or be abusive to each other; and this imprint becomes our comfort zone and the model of our future relationships. We say I will never be like my mother or I will never be like my dad, but subconsciously we choose our first loves that have tendencies like our parents because this is our comfort zone. It isn't until we get older, with more experience, for us to realize what kind of relationship is a healthy relationship and find a person who loves us, as we are, with flaws and all. Because when it comes down to it, you will never change them, you cannot fix them, they will not get better, and abuse only escalates. You cannot love enough for two; nor can you make it work by yourself. You deserve to be loved and accepted as you are; and you have to pass on others until you find a partner who can do that. Not everyone will fit into the mold you fantasize as your soul mate; and trying to make them into what you want will only lead to a lot of heart of ache. If you are dating an abusive partner, regardless of how much you love them, you have to ask yourself, is this someone I would want to have children with. Would I want my children to be yelled at and belittled for every little thing they do wrong? Your children deserve better than that; you deserve better than that. If you have someone in your life that is physically and verbally abusive to you, you need to tell your family, a teacher, a counselor, the FACSA Foundation, or an adult who will listen; and keep telling until someone listens. Abused friends and family will demonstrate the following behaviors:
Their partner controls what they say; who they talk to; where they go; and how they dress
They may/will be manipulated with money by their abuser
Their partner will make them fearful by actions or looks
Hitting them; leaving bruises and cuts
verbally abusing them
be isolated from friends and family
will take up for abuser; and may mention their abuse but laugh it off as a joke
they will try to please the abuser in anyway, but nothing will ever please them
believe they are their partners possession
Is always blamed for their partners mistakes and faults
Has been sexually assaults by their partner
Know the facts about relationship abuse.
Give assurance that you believe your friend’s story.
Listen and let her share her feelings.
Do not judge or give advice. Talk about available options and resources.
Physical safety is the first priority. If you believe a friend is in danger, voice that concern. Help create a safety plan.
Respect your friend’s right to confidentiality.
Say that you care and want to help.
Don’t be upset if your friend doesn’t react the way you think she should. Let her talk about the caring aspects of the relationship as well. People who are being controlled by their partner’s behavior must consider many factors before coming to a conclusion about how to access safety. Let her make her own decisions and support her throughout the process.
Give clear messages, including:
Your actions do not cause the abuse.
You are not to blame for your partner’s behavior.
You cannot change her partner’s behavior.
Apologies and promises are a form of manipulation.
You are not alone.
Abuse is not loss of control; it is a means of control.
It is helpful to provide support to survivors. However, there are some forms of advice that are not useful and even dangerous for them to hear:
Don’t tell them what to do, when to leave or when not to leave.
Don’t tell them to go back to the situation and try a little harder.
Don’t rescue them by trying to find quick solutions.
Don’t suggest you try to talk to the abusive partner to straighten things out.
Don’t place yourself in danger by confronting the abuser.
Don’t tell them they should stay for the sake of the children.
Never recommend couples counseling in situations of emotional or physical abuse. It is dangerous for the victim and will not lead to a resolution.
Encourage separate counseling for the individuals, if they want counseling.
Adapted from EWA, Canada
How to Help a Friend Who is a Sexual Assault Survivor
When talking to a survivor of sexual assault, here are some key ideas to keep in mind:
Validation: Accept what you hear. Many survivors fear they will not be believed. They are afraid that their experience will be minimized as “not important” or made into a catastrophe. Let the survivor state her or his views, feelings, beliefs, and opinions. Do not be judgmental.
Empowerment: Allow survivors to direct their own course of action, no matter how much you think your idea would help them. An assault takes away the victim’s power and control over their self and situation; regaining that sense of control helps the survivor in the recovery process.
Information: Present survivors with resources and available options. Initially, the victim may be so overwhelmed that it is impossible for them to hear everything. Be patient and willing to repeat yourself. Respect the person’s decision as to what to do.
Privacy: Assure survivors that you will keep the matter private. Explain that you may need to consult with resources to understand how to help her. If total anonymity is necessary, you and/or the survivor may get information and support without revealing your names.
Listen: Let survivors disclose as much about the assault as they are comfortable with. Do not press for details, as this can feel intrusive and controlling.
In responding to the survivor use the same words she or he does in describing the event. If the survivor uses the word “rape,” then use it in reflective listening. If the survivor uses the expression “something bad happened,” stay with that. Be empathetic, non-judgmental, and help the survivor feel safe. Avoid labeling the experience for them. Remember, survivors may feel guilty and responsible. You can reassure them that no one deserves to be assaulted and it was not their fault. Be particularly sensitive if a survivor has special needs based on ethnicity, gender, religion, sexual orientation, and/or disability.
Even though it should never occur, the fact is dating violence and abuse happens every day, regardless of education or the lack thereof, rich or poor, race, or religion. People do not leave because they are afraid to; they are mentally and physically beaten down; or feel they have nowhere to turn.
If you have been abused by your partner, or you know someone who has you can call for resources:
the National Dating Abuse Hotline 1 (866) 331-9474
loveisrespect.org is a new 24 hour resource that utilizes telephone and web-based interactive technology to reach teens and young adults experiencing dating abuse. The Helpline numbers are: (866) 331-9474 and TTY (866) 331-8453. The peer to peer online individual chat function is available from 4 p.m. to midnight and can be accessed from the website.
Local Springhill Police (318) 539-2511
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1(800) 799-7233
If you plan on leaving, make a safe exit:
Know the phone number of a safe house or a local women’s battered shelter
Tell someone you trust and develop a plan; use code words if you are in trouble. A visual sign could be if the light is on it is safe; if the light is off you are in trouble
Go to a doctor if you are injured and report the incident
Do not go back to the abuser; your life could be at risk and no love is worth that.
File a report and let the charges stick; regardless of the partner’s threats
Reassure children of a safe place and their job is not to protect you.
Keep the car fueled, money hidden, cell charged, and evacuation plan ready
Pack a bag and hide it if necessary, with important documents, like social security numbers, birth certificates, medical information, marriage license, extra car keys, car title, banking information, important phone numbers, shoes, clothes, and toiletry items; maybe the kids favorite toy, to calm them.
Know abusers schedule and a safe time to leave
Erase you internet search history and be careful who you reach out to
If you call for help, immediately dial another number right after that, so the abuser will not know who you called last.
If you leave:
Change your routine
keep your doors locked
keep a certified copy of your restraining order with you at all times. (6 months max; can get a $500 fine or imprisonment)
Install security systems in your new place
Get a P O Box
Get caller id
Avoid going to where the abuser is, when possible. If necessary, carry protectors with you like law enforcement.
You don't deserve to be treated this way; you do deserve to be valued as a person, listened to without being yelled at, criticized, or judged; and you deserve to be loved. Despite what you think that person is bringing to your life, they are actually taking more than they offer. You can’t afford to trade yourself, your self -esteem, or possibly, your life for what you have them? You have to learn to value yourself as a person, respect yourself despite your mistakes; and know today is a new day to start fresh. Learn to protect yourself and make better choices for your life; because every choice you make, regardless of how small, will affect the rest of your life. Every action becomes a behavior; and a behavior becomes who you are. There will be times in your life where you will have to take a good hard look at your life; and change what you don't like about it.
I will close with a quote from Jim Rohn, “If you don’t make a plan for your life, chances are, you will fall into someone else’s; and guess what they have planned for you; not much!”
Stalking affects millions of people each year, yet is highly underreported. Stalking is directed at an individual or group of individuals over a specified time to cause emotional fear, harassment, physical or psychological damage. President Obama declared January as National Stalking Awareness Month.
Like many crimes, education, awareness, and prevention are crucial to the survival of an individual. It is imperative to report someone stalking you, even if you feel compelled to brush it off and think it is nothing. If something does happen, you want to make sure it is recorded on file; keeping a journal of events is helpful as well.
According to the United States Department of Health and Human Services Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which released its first National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS), reported stalking is a serious issue. NISVS data shows that:
Nearly one in six women has experienced stalking so severe that she felt very fearful or believed that she or someone close to her would be harmed or killed.
One in 19 men has experienced the same level of stalking.
Women were particularly likely to be stalked by a current or former intimate partner.
Stalking behaviors can include seemingly innocuous acts, such as making unwanted phone calls; sending unsolicited or unwanted letters or emails; or leaving unwanted items, presents or flowers, but when taken together, and when feared by the victim, may constitute a criminal act. Other forms of stalking include following or spying on the victim; showing up without a legitimate reason at places where the victim is likely to be; waiting at places for the victim; and posting information or spreading rumors about the victim on the internet, in a public place, or by word of mouth.
Newer technologies, such as text messaging, emails, and electronic monitoring devices (including cameras and GPS), are also used by perpetrators to stalk victims. Stalking is also frequently a precursor to much more serious, and sometimes lethal, acts. In fact, 76 percent of female intimate partner murder victims had been stalked by their partners prior to their death.
The Stalking Resource Center provides training and technical l assistance to enhance responses to stalking and is committed to collecting the best knowledge about stalking, including researching policy and tracking program success.
According to Louisiana Stalking Laws:
Stalking Defined as
Willful, malicious, and repeated following or harassing with intent to place in fear of death or bodily injury.
Punishment/Classification
Maximum 1 year jail and $1000 fine. If had dangerous weapon: fine $1,000 and/or jail 1 year. If stalking and protective order for same victim, or criminal proceeding for stalking victim or injunction: jail 90 days minimum and 2 years maximum and/or fined maximum $5,000. If victim under 18, maximum 1 year and/or $2000 fine. Note: anyone over 13 who stalks a child 12 and under and is found to have placed child in reasonable fear of death or bodily injury of family member shall be punished by 1 year minimum, 3 years maximum in jail and/or $1,500 minimum, $5,000 maximum fine
Penalty for Repeat Offense
If 2nd within 7 years: jail minimum 180 days and maximum 3 years and/or fined maximum $5,000. If 3rd or subsequent within 7 years: jail minimum 2 years and maximum 5 years and/or fined maximum $5,000
For more information about the Office on Violence Against Women, visitovw.usdoj.gov. We remind all those in need of assistance, or other concerned friends and individuals, to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE.
What Every Parent Needs To Know About Pedophiles and Grooming
BY CONNIE LEE
I am often asked, how can you spot a pedophile? The answer to that is, you can’t. They look like your neighbor, coach, teacher, lawyer, judge, law enforcement, clergy or pastor, anyone, because they can be anyone. It does not matter if they are rich/poor, educated/uneducated, race, religion, or gender. There are certain characteristics and habits that pedophiles possess, as well as questionable behaviors which are telling warning signs.
It is important to distinguish between a pedophile and a sexual molester. A pedophile has strong recurrent sexual fantasies about their victims and usually the target of their affection is less than 12 years old. They see nothing wrong with sex with a child and feel it is healthy for the child. They not only target one child, but can target many simultaneously. They can be single minded and focused to stay close to children, until they get what they want; which is one of their defining trademarks. They may even marry a single mother to get close to the child. A child molester usually desires power, fear, and control, as exhibited in many homes of domestic violence.
Often a pedophile is a single male, over 30 years of age, single, and with few friends. If married, their intimate relationship is usually strained. He may be vague about employment time gaps or previous living addresses. Their hobbies are ones that would appeal to the age of the children they seek to groom and rape. Almost all pedophiles have a collection of porn that they refuse to get rid of and protect at all cost. Some pedophiles prefer children around the age of puberty, while others prefer them much younger. They work around children, put themselves in position to babysit or any need a single mother or a distressed parent may have. Some pedophiles will molest their own children and grandchildren, while others will molest and rape outside of the family,
They target children from broken homes; children who are withdrawn, troubled by their own sexuality, as in puberty; handicapped; or underprivileged homes. Then he showers them with gifts, exciting places, and expensive toys for them or something for their home. Then he makes them feel special, loved, and deserving of all the attention they are receiving. They target a child through the internet, neighborhood, malls, movies, etc. After they have made contact, they slowly gain the child’s trust and confidence; slowly leave the child with the belief that no one can understand them more, than the perpetrator. The pedophile will isolate the child from anyone that may take notice of their actions and behaviors, or that would protect the child.
Slowly, and this may even take years, the pedophile will groom their victim by slowly brushing against the child or touching the child inappropriately. His advances continue until the child accepts this as normal. If it is a small child, they tell them it is their secret; or something bad will happen if they tell. A perpetrator confides in them, gaining their trust and secrets, threatening to expose the child if the child tells; thus the abuse continues until the perpetrator moves on or the child is in a safe free zone and can express what has happened to them. Usually this takes years to disclose, if ever, because of the fear, guilt of their body responding and shame of what has happened. The children are silenced by threats and fear!
One factor that pedophiles cannot control is that all victims grow up and recall the events, usually in their twenties, thirties, and forties. At this time, the victims are so angered at the abuse, the betrayal, no one protecting them, and being victimized, that they tell to protect other children from being abused. New laws are being implemented across the nation for no statute of limitations and free DNA testing for all children of sexual assault. The truth is revealed eventually.
As in any sexual assault cases, there are false claims, which are usually dismissed. False accusations are just as wrong as the pedophile who grooms and rapes children. The biggest thing you can do for your home, school, or community is to teach children how to protect themselves through programs like the Good/Touch Bad/Touch Program which is a fun, age appropriate skit for Pre-K – 6th grades, about this is my body, yell and tell; and keep telling until someone listens. Prevention is key to combating a multiple generational epidemic.
Warning Signs Your Child May Have Been Abused:
Many times parents, grandparents, school officials, family, and friends are confronted with a situation, such as child sexual assault, and they do not know how to handle it properly. Child sexual assault happens to children 0-18 years of age; and most often the perpetrator is a family member, someone the child knows, or an acquaintance. Sexual abuse can include fondling, touching, and kissing inappropriately, or pornography with the child. Each instance is just as traumatic as the other, with lifelong effects and consequences.
• Many children will explore their bodies and this is natural. What is not natural is when their behavior becomes outside the norm or their behavior seems inappropriately sexual for their age.
• They may become more aggressive.
• They may burst into tears for no reason.
• They will have nightmares and may demand the light stay on.
• They may start to wet the bed.
• They may inappropriately touch their dolls or action figures during play.
• They may begin to hurt animals.
• They may become shy, withdrawn, have mood swings, or become depressed.
• They may become promiscuous.
• They may start using drugs and alcohol to numb the pain
• At first they may be fearful of an adult, a certain place, or a thing. It is not uncommon for an abused child to develop a bond with the abuser.
• Unexplained bruises, rashes, or cuts.
If you know a child who has been abused or suspect abuse please call the following help lines. Remember, it is not the child’s fault!
Critical Phone Numbers
Child Abuse
Childhelp's National Child Abuse Hotline
800-4-A-CHILD (800-422-4453)
Child Care
Child Care Aware
1-800-424-2246
Domestic Violence
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (800-799-7233)
TDD 1-800-787-3224
Missing and Exploited Children
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678)
Runaway Youth
National Runaway Switchboard
1-800-621-4000
National Human Trafficking Resource Center
National Human Trafficking Resource Center
1-888-3737-888
RAINN offers an online hotline. Anyone can access help over the internet.
We are living in a nation with a silent epidemic, which I call “The Holocaust of Innocence.” For generations, women, girls, boys, and infants, have been sexually assaulted for the instant gratification of someone else’s pleasure. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, 1-3 girls, and 1-6 boys will be sexually assaulted before the age of 18. These statistics are from the 10% that did tell, or their perpetrator was caught. 90% still remain in our homes, churches, businesses, organizations, craftsmen skills, etc. Children who are abused do not tell because they fear no one will believe them; they fear being torn from their families; they fear being killed by the perpetrator or harm to their family; or they are told to keep it a secret because the perpetrator is someone they know and love. The sexually assaulted children grow up thinking this is the normal and acceptable way of life for most kids; and it must happen in other classmate’s homes too; thus no one speaks of it.
From the moment the abuse occurs, whether emotional abuse (withholding love or affection, neglect, belittling a child, making them feel they are not worthy for the crumbs off of your feet); physical abuse ( starving a child, hitting or beating a child, making them take cold showers/bathes, drinking hot sauce or their own urine, and eating feces); sexual abuse ( fondling, grooming-where the perpetrator slowly builds his advances until the child is accepting what is happening to them), rape, being pimped out and sold to other molesters, or sold into a sex ring, or an occult. The U.N. estimates 700,000 – 4 million women and children are sold into the human trafficking or sex trade, at a 7 billion dollar lucrative industry; which is on the rise due to economic crisis. In the U.S., over 50,000 women and children were trafficked into the U.S. from 49 other countries; leaving a total of over 750,000 in the last decade. According to ChildHelp USA, 90% of children know their abusers. Five kids die a day at the hand of their abusers; 80% are under the age of 4. Many people do not want to think about this, let alone talk about sexual assault, which is why we have a multi-generational epidemic. So, when will you talk about it? When will it end? I can promise you, we will never eradicate sexual assault and abuse. The best we can do is to unite together to bring change in public policies and change the social stigma of sexual assault. The change will not come fast enough for some; and for others, it will bring hope for them to hold on.
You see the effects sexual assault has on our children, in our communities, because they will act it out. Small children do not have the communication skills to express their emotions, and they act it out through play with dolls and toys, emulating the abuse; through kicking and hitting things and people; by mutilating animals and dolls; some abused children try “cutting” themselves because the pain has made them so numb and dead inside, they want to feel something; some try suicide. The shame, guilt, anger, pain, self loathing, and sadness envelopes them into a pit of darkness; overshadowing even the happiest of times. They continue to live in a hell of having to relive the abuse every day, whether they are still in physical danger or just in their minds. Sexual assault and abused children will never “Just Get Over It”; nor will they ever “Forget it and move on with their lives.” The moment of the “Holocaust of Innocence,” will always effect every decision of their life. Children learn to mistrust others, especially authoritative figures; they may become promiscuous, leading to teen pregnancies, STD’s, dropout rates increasing, increasing need for welfare services. Our children are having children that they are not ready for, know how to care for, nor have the maturity or the financial stability to do so. Some abused children try to harm themselves through cutting or suicide. People who are suicidal tend to feel hopeless, helpless, and heartless. They just cannot take the pain and darkness anymore and decide to end the suffering. You will notice them giving away their belongings or getting their affairs in order. Suicide notes are left through letters, emails, text, videos, and music. No matter how many times they “cry wolf”, answer the call because it may be your last time to talk to them. If they are continually talking of suicide, seek out a counselor, clergy, or someone they trust. The more details they have planned the closer they are to actually committing suicide. The suicide hotline phone number is 1.800.784.2833 or 1.800.273.8355, which remains open 24/7, 365 days a year. If you are suicidal, promise to not do anything right now; avoid alcohol and drugs; make your home safe by getting rid of all pills, drugs, alcohol, knives, razors, ropes, cleaners, or anything that you would use to commit suicide; call someone you trust for help or the national suicide crisis hotline, and talk as long as you wish; seek a counselor, police, a doctor, or clergy.
Many sexual assault survivors live what appears to be a normal life, but the abuse is never far from their mind. Not only will they have a hard time trusting anyone, but they may have trouble with intimacy; may be controlling, possessive, or abusive themselves. You probably know someone who has been abused or may live with someone who has. Until the abuse is resolved, they will always have that part of their heart tucked away, and will not be able to truly give all of themselves to the relationship. Don’t call them a liar or say it never happened. Don’t turn your back on them!
Someone who has been falsely accused is usually exonerated from the accusations. The false accusations are just as wrong as an abuser! The damaging accusations impact their jobs, their lives, and their family’s lives. People who have been falsely accused can file civil suit against their accuser for slander and damages to their mental health, and job loss.
Someone who has been sexually assaulted will show signs of age inappropriate sexual behavior; itching; clinging; irritation, inability to focus or concentrate; or fear of someone they know. They may have nightmares, crying spells, afraid to visit the perpetrator, STD’s, tears from penetration, begin to use drugs, isolation, grades dropping, behavioral changes not associated with puberty. If you suspect someone has been abused call 1.800.656.4673 for the National Sexual Abuse Hotline; and 1.800.799.7233 for the National Domestic Abuse Hotline.
If you have been abused, please seek a counselor. Counselors who have been abused may be more empathic, but there are still many knowledgeable counselors who can help you, and walk you through the recovery process.
The change, we hope to see in our country, will come from communities helping communities; and people helping people; and uniting organizations together to rally change for public policies and the social stigma of sexual assault and abuse. Abuse doesn’t just happen in poor, uneducated communities and families, it happens in educated/uneducated, wealthy/impoverished/, religion/ no religion. Pain and suffering does not know color, race, and social economic standing in your community; pain and suffering affects everyone. Many community organizations and nonprofits work diligently on sexual assault prevention, but it is up to you to be the change you wish to see in others and around you. Your choice today becomes your actions tomorrow; your action today becomes your behavior tomorrow; your behavior tomorrow becomes your destiny; so choose your future wisely.
When I was growing up, abuse and sexual assault was your family’s dirty little secret. Secrets keep the whole family sick and keep you in bondage to the abuser. It is time to break the cycle of abuse. Don’t let another generation of abuse be your legacy. Keeping secrets is not progressing a nation forward to success and equality. I know, This Is Not My Generation! We are taking a stand together!
March 20 and 21, 2012, INXPO will present a nationwide live event, free for sexual assault organizations, hosted by the FACSA Foundation. Currently we are asking sexual assault organization’s from across the nation to submit 3-5 minute videos of their organizational mission and services. If you have special speakers you would like to submit, include a 30 minute-1 hour video for them as well. You can also submit downloadable links for your virtual business cards, flyers, and brochures. You can submit art, music, poetry, crafts, wood work, metal art, and personal stories, as well. We have a website to gather the content, that will be posted to the INXPO at http://facsafoundationvirtualexpo.ning.com/ (you may have to put it in the top browser bar). On the day of the live event, you will be able to view the virtual live event from your computer and see your organization publicized on a national platform, as well as other organizations from across the country and internationally. Some speakers, from the INXPO, will join us in a nationwide speaking tour advocating prevention of sexual assault. We are gathering the knowledge and resources for anyone to view 24/7, 365 days a year. We will also be gathering current statistics on how sexual assault is affecting our communities across the nation. We would love for you to join us on this incredible journey.
Connie Lee/FACSA Foundation/Founder/Presidentfacsasavethechildren@hotmail.com
(318)539-2571 Facsasavethechildren.com
I watched the Dateline interview story about Elizabeth Smart and her journey home... last night. Wow! I did not live in Utah at the time of her abduction during the night while sleeping in her bed at knife point with threats he would kill her if she made a sound.... the brutal nightmare at the hands of Brian David Mitchell.
This is one brave, strong, resourceful, triumphant young lady. It was wonderful to see her come through the other side...no longer a victim but a survivor. What courage! Elizabeth Smart has reclaimed what was taken from her. It was very heartwarming to see the entire Smart Family not let David Brian Mitchell have control over them any longer. Deal with what they have to but going on with their lives and living it well. Certainly God was watching over this young woman.
As a former radio talk show producer...I have met some interesting heroes..female and male. This morning I was having coffee and reading the Salt Lake Tribune. It shows various time line pictures of Elizabeth Smart from kidnapped flier to her emerging triumphant and smiling from a federal court house. The Headline reads "A BEACON FOR OTHER VICTIMS".
Eight years after Brian David Mitchell kidnapped 14 year old Elizabeth Smart from her home at knife point, forced her into a polygamist marriage and nearly daily rapes...justice was served. Watching the breaking news of Elizabeth beaming and giving her statement to the reporters that she was thrilled to stand before the people of America and give hope to other victims who have not spoken out about what has happened to them. It brought tears to my eyes to see her strength and courage...standing strong, dignified, triumphant and taking back that what was ripped from her innocence as a 14 year old child. Today Elizabeth is a vibrant, beautiful young woman of 23 years old and will be returning to Paris France to complete her mission.
Shame is one of the stigmas associated with sexual violence as well as being believed. Further advocates from this article in Salt Lake Tribune this morning...from Heather Stringfellow the Executive Director of The Rape Recovery Center and Alana Kindness from the Utah Coalition Against Sexual Assault... are a few of the advocates that I have met as part of the interview on the radio talk show. According to the article it states 29% of women older than 18 have experienced some type of sexual assault...One in nine incidents of sexual assaults will be reported to the police. Those are the ones we know about. Alana Kindness...states from article "Survivors often fear they won't be believed or that their own behavior will be questioned." In Utah of reported sexual assaults of which about 88% are not reported...the numbers are higher for the State of Utah than anywhere else in the nation...one of the reasons is that the population of Utah consists of mostly children.
Since the trial of Elizabeth Smart began her testimony of her experiences, The Rape Recovery Center has seen a spike in and being overwhelmed by calls.
We interviewed Tory Bowen and her attorney Wendy Murphy after I saw an article in the People's Magazine October 27, 2008 issue. Picture in People Magazine shows Tory standing on the steps of the US Supreme Court to decide whether or not to hear her case.Tory's rapist was arrested and charged with sexual assault. When the case came to trial in 2006...The Judge Jeffrey Cheuvront in Lancaster County made a decision that Tory Bowen could not use the words "rape" or "sexual assault", during her testimony nor could Tory say that she thought accused rapist drugged her...neither could the police, witnesses or prosecutor. If Tory did say those words in trial, she could be sanctioned and serve time in jail.
The last time I spoke with Tory...she is a survivor and a victims advocate and I have the trial transcripts provided to me prior to the interview. During our interview with Tory Bowen and her attorney Wendy Murphy...I asked a question of her attorney...the answer I already knew. I did not ask for me... but for our listeners. My question was..."Can a woman be raped in a marriage?"...Attorney Wendy Murphy's reply was "Yes" and if I needed help to call her. Sexual assault by an intimate partner or husband...is a crime, it is sexual assault...NO MEANS NO!
THANKS! To those who have found their voices and in spite of the shame, fear, being ostracized, being believed and being the voice for those who have not found theirs yet!
I am now the Publicist for Speaker & Author Susanna Barlow who has written her Memoir "What Peace There May Be" about being born the middle child 23rd of 46 children into a polygamist family...
I first met Susanna Barlow when I came into to produce for the radio talk show...saw the cover of her book, heard her interview and booked her. We have become friends and I have met about a baker's dozen of her sisters, some of her brothers, nieces, nephews, her father and some of his wives and her immediate family. It has been an amazing experience to see her courage as well to stand against abuse using her own words and voice...
I also represent Getrude Matshe International Guest Speaker, Celebrated Author & Humanitarian. Getrude helps educate about the AIDS Pandemic...one of the myths is that if you rape a virgin...you won't get AIDS. Polygamy is also in the African culture background and there are other atrocities committed against children.
In Utah Reported Sexual Assaults are 10% higher than any other State in the Nation according to a news report where Alana Kindness of the Utah Coalition Against Sexual Assault (UCASA). One of the reasons is that the population of Utah consists mostly of children.
Elizabeth Smart is a Victims Advocate and Spokesperson while also working to teach children skills should they come into situations that would harm them RADKids.
I am a victim and I bleed. I am a victim and I cry. I am a victim and no one takes heed. I am a little girl who only wants a home. Why cannot I have a home that I can call my own. Adults are more impressed with power than with my needs. I am a victim of the courts. I am a victim of CSD. I am a victim of a Mother who keeps leaving me. How long must I suffer before they see?
I scream in terror and inflicted pain until I bleed. Afraid to sleep. Afraid to sleep for fear the sex dreams reappear. Many nights I ran in fear toward my new Mom and Dad who held me near. Why don’t they listen? Why won’t they hear?
Why am I different? I only want a home with a Mom and Dad I can call my own. Why can’t they let me be? The damage that has been done to me…you may not always see. Oh, please dear God, let them see what is happening to me. They seem so blind to my pain. Adults filled with their own self-importance. Why can’t they see?
I want to be loved. I want to feel safe and secure. Please God, give me my wish before it’s too late. I don’t want to learn to hate. I’m only a little girl. I want to know where am I going to live. Where is my home? Will I see my friends at school, or will they take me away again? Is anyone listening? Does anyone hear? How many times must I return to my new parents only to be taken again. Is anyone listening? Does anybody hear?
My birth parents were teens when I was born. They were too young to be parents. I sleep many places… moved too many times. I lose my belongings…no place to call home. My Dad is in jail. My Mom could not cope. Please Mommy, don’t hurt me this way. Many men I’ve called Father, some have gone. One returns, again and again.
I have a new baby brother. His father is different from mine. We have the same Mother. I fear she won’t take good care of him…just like me. Then where will he be? I want him to live with me. Why can’t my new Mom and Dad take my brother too? I cannot understand. I worry what will happen to him. He is just newborn you see.
I want a home like others…a Mom…a Dad…a place I know. I want to forget all of the rest. I’m tired of loosing my things. I never know if this will be home when I wake up from rest. How long must I wait before they decide that this is where I should always be?
I am so angry. I am tired, frustrated and sad. Why don’t they listen. Why can’t they hear. Why can’t they see what is happening here? Please let them listen. Please let them hear. I am tired of hurting all these long years. How much more must I suffer? How can I endure? Let my adults see a child is at stake. Please God, help them listen…let them make no mistake.
My vision was to have both Getrude Matshe International Guest Speaker, Celebrated Author & Humanitarian along with Speaker, Author Susanna Barlow...Speaking at the same event, in the same room to tell their stories. These two amazing women will be coming together in SLC Utah part of Getrude Matshe USA Tour Saturday evening October 8th, 2011 starting at 7:30pm at The Utah Cultural Celebration Center along with State-wide Utah Book Festival. http://www.utahhumanities.org/BookFestival/2011/BookFestival_SaltLa...
Getrude Matshe is an International Guest Speaker, Celebrated Author & Humanitarian...Coming soon to USA...one of her stops will be in Salt Lake City, Utah. Joining Getrude's USA Tour is Speaker and Local Utah Author Susanna Barlow who was born the 23rd child of 46 children into an FLDS Polygamist sect living in the heart of Salt Lake City. www.SusannaBarlow.com Book Trailer, Sneak Peek of Memoir & more.
Getrude Matshe is an Inspirational Speaker who has been described as a vibrant bundle of African energy whose zest and passion for life inspires everyone she meets. She is passionate about helping people achieve their full potential and find their individual life purpose. She is passionate about individuals’ success. This makes her an energetic, inspirational and enlightening speaker.
About Getrude Matshe
Her speaking career started in Norway 1989 and for 12 years she has worked in the IT industry as a Systems Analyst, Systems Support Manager and Project Manager. She has a Bachelor of commerce degree and an Honour in Industrial Psychology. Getrude immigrated to New Zealand in 2001 with nothing and is now the Director of three successful companies.
SYBIL in her own words: The Untold Story of Shirley Mason
The book "Sybil" by Flora Rheta Schreiber written in the 1970's, has recently received media attention again.
One author has attacked the veracity of the Sybil story, calling MPD - DID (dissociative identity disorder) a "cultural construct." The research shows that this isn't true. MPD - DID is found around the world. Research studies have shown it to be caused by severe, repeated trauma.
After reading the book "Sybil in her own words" by Patrick Suraci, Ph.D., I realized the importance of this book. The people in the Sybil story are treated like human beings and they are allowed to speak about their own life stories. What is interesting about this book, is that it is written by a professional who has experience with the scientific knowledge of MPD.
The book shows how Dr. Connie Wilbur's treatment was successful and that Shirley Mason (Sybil) never had a relapse or return of her MPD symptoms after her treatment with Wilbur. She was able to live a full life, as shown in her interactions and discussions with Patrick Suraci, Ph.D.
In chapter seven, Dr. Suraci goes back to Shirley Mason's home town to check on her story and validate it. He speaks with three women, Wilma Bode, Betty Christen and Patricia Alcott, who were classmates and playmates with Shirley in her childhood. Wilma and Betty were two of the few children that were able to enter Shirley's household.
Wilma stated, "We always said that her mother was an old witch." She describes Shirley as having troubles concentrating in school and not knowing if she was day dreaming or that her attention was drawn away. Wilma is asked if she believes if Shirley was abused. Wilma states that she believes that some of what is written in the book did happen.
Betty talks about Shirley's mother. She states that her mother never came over to visit, but would come over and look (or peek) in the windows when they had company. She said that "Ms. Mason relieved herself in a neighbor's yard."
Patricia describes Shirley's mother as "strange, stern, raucous" and "someone to stay away from." She states that Shirley's mother (Mattie) "had a shrill voice and ridiculed Shirley." Shirley's mother repeated things over and over again. Patricia stated Mattie "played the piano too loudly, bombastically, venting anger. She was harsh." She said that Shirley's father (Wilbur) "stood in shaded corners with his head down."
Patrick Suraci describes the mechanism of "splitting" that contributed to the development of Shirley's personalities. Shirley came to view Mattie sometimes as the "good mother" and sometimes as the "bad mother."
In his chapter on Shirley in New York, Patrick Suraci speaks with Jim and Naomi, Shirley's closest living relatives. Jim had noticed that on the phone Shirley "was a different personality, a different person." Naomi agreed and described a strong change in personality also. Naomi in Chapter Nine tells Patrick that Shirley and Dr. Wilbur confirmed that the book Sybil "was 100% accurate."
The pictures in the book are excellent. Under one of the pictures drawn by Shirley's alter Peggy of a Christmas tree (in black and white), the note describes that Christmas was unpleasant for Shirley because she would receive a lot of games and toys which her mother would put away and not let her play with. Shirley was told she could play with them another time. Yet her mother would give them away to a poor family that didn't have anything.
Patrick Suraci states in his chapter Controversy Over Sybil that Mason, Schreiber and Wilbur were offered money, television and media interviews to reveal Shirley's identity, but did not do this. He discusses the problems with Dr. Herbert Spiegel's view of the Sybil story, as well as other skeptical of the story.
I highly recommend this book to those interested in the Sybil story. It is very well documented, using actual transcripts of conversations with those in the story and those that knew Shirley, showing that the original Sybil book was an accurate description of Shirley's life.
Information on ritual abuse, child abuse, clergy abuse, dissociation, trauma and research about child abuse and child abuse crimes is at http://ritualabuse.us/
Added by Neil Brick on September 24, 2011 at 11:25pm —
Survivorship Webinar (for survivors and professionals): Saturday, December 17, 2011
Upcoming Webinar (for survivors and professionals):
Saturday, December 17, 2011
noon Pacific Time (2 hours)
Memory & Survivors
Presenter: Alikina
Most survivors have questions about their memory processes at some time: 'is it true, did it happen?' or 'why can't I remember?', or even 'why do I keep having intrusive memories?' As we heal, we also become aware of times when our memories seem different than how we've been lead to believe 'normal' memory works. We feel like we forget too much, or we have nearly perfect memories. Often questions about memories of abuse are addressed in therapy, groups, books, etc; but questions about the everyday workings of memory, and how abuse may be affecting our brain function, stay unanswered.
This webinar will primarily focus on what current psychological science knows about basic memory processes, as well as issues unique to the survivor community, learning styles and how they affect memory, tricks to assist remembering, and plenty of Q & A time.
Alikina is a survivor of severe abuse and a current grad-school student halfway through her Master's Degree in Mental Health Counseling. She has presented articles and webinars for Survivorship in the past. She has worked with abuse survivors through community support organizations and been in therapy as both the client and the therapist, and plans to work with abuse and trauma survivors as her career path.
REGISTRATION
Registration closes the Thursday evening before the webinar
To reserve a space in the webinar, e-mail Shamai at shamai@survivorship.org and give her this information:
1. Your name
2. The webinar you wish to attend
3. Amount and method of payment (check, PayPal, money order)
4. Your preferred e-mail address (so we can send you instructions)
5. The name you will be using for the webinar. (This does not have to be your real name or your message board screen name.)
You will receive a confirmation email immediately and an invitation link and instructions after the registration closes
COST
Professional Webinars are $50 and include CEUs upon request.
All other webinars are on a sliding scale from $50.00 to full scholarship.
(While we offer full scholarships for webinars, it would be great if you would be willing to pay anything, even $5 rather than expect a full scholarship. While we understand that money can be difficult to find, please try to pay what you can to help cover the cost of the webinar provider).
If you wish to pay by check please send it to: Survivorship, Family Justice Center, 470 27th Street, Oakland, CA 94612.
PAST WEBINARS
Survivorship members may listen to past webinars (not professional) in the members’ section.
For information on joining Survivorship, go to http://www.survivorship.org/about/membership.html
WOW. I have just been told that my Poem (video), Hand print and Book that are to be placed inside the Child Abuse Monument, is featured front and centre on the StoryProject page. You too can have your hand print in this monument still. I will do a better write up to explain why, AND you can do it safely. I am overwhelmed by the recognition the project and now this gives me... JOIN ME. See the link to find out more. http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/GiveUsAH...
Bio:
'Raising Awareness of Child Abuse and its Consequences in Later life'
I was born in 1970 and raised in Devon. I moved to Hampshire just before my eleventh birthday. When I left school I eventually worked in the building trade, and after many years started my own business. I did this for a few years but in the end ill health forced me to stop. Then, not long after, I had a break down ending up in one of my first stays in hospital. Afterwards I became aware of a child hood I didn't know about (through having what I later found out was a mental block). I didn't receive the help I should have from the health service sadly, and after years of this I started to complain and then campaign on child abuse awareness issues. Amongst all this I started to write again, having stopped for years, and in 2010 I published my first book 'Whispers From Within'. I've been on the radio with my poetry and the issues above. Much of my poetry raises awareness of child abuse and its consequences in later life. Something I obviously feel very strongly about. I've been published a few times, read my poetry to the public (including at two anti child abuse rallies held in London in both 2009 and 2010), I'm trying to add to this all the time. I'm now also well on my way to my second book. You can find out more about me via my websites ( http://www.Bsafe1stalways.com & http://www.thepoetjohn.com ), via my online videos on YouTube, or even better from my first book 'Whispers From Within'. Above all: I'm a survivor of all types of Child Abuse, surviving the system and... with others trying to expose failings, so at least some good may come from it all. All I do is try and make sure that... it's not all for nothing, and that's a brief insight into me.
'So Sad WAS I' by John Harrison
If your in that dark place, please reach out for that someone
0800 085 3330 (not 24 hours though sadly at the moment).
How amazing is it, that you can actually be a part of this child abuse monument, either as a survivor, or supporter. And all you have to do is send in your hand print. That's what makes it personal to you. If your a survivor of child abuse or supporter please see this, and take part. You can do it anonymously if you prefer. Be a part for you, and that will in tern help us. http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/GiveUsAHand_StoryProject.htm
They havent got a dead line as such, for sending in your hand prints. They are arranging for the final placement of the monument. They are having to go through procedures to do so. This time is allowing for hand prints to be placed still. Dr Michael C. Irving has recently said to keep sending them in. I will remove the video, and post when it stops. BUT it will not suddenly stop. We will get some notice. Because even when they get permission for the final placement, it will take time to transport it there and erect etc. Nearer this time, we will be informed.
YOU CAN STILL HAVE YOUR HAND PRINT, IN THE CHILD ABUSE MONUMENT IN CANADA. If you were abused as a child OR support the cause, take a look at the link for more information. You can put your hand print on an A4 piece of paper, with a phrase or poems or pics or what ever. You can send them in via post. You can do it safely, no need to tell anyone. You can see my Poem (video), Hand print and Book that are to be placed inside the Child Abuse Monument, its featured front and centre on the StoryProject page. I will be doing a short video about it now. Have your recognition... JOIN ME. See the link to find out more.http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/GiveUsAHand_StoryP...
1. Draw an outline of your hand on a piece of 8 1/2" x 11" (A4) paper;
2. On or around the outline of your hand, write or draw a message of:
a.) Prevention of abuse;
b.) Support for survivors or
c.) Story telling and healing for yourself;
3. Send your personal "HandPrint Story" for the Reaching Out Monument to:
"Reaching Out" Child Abuse Monument
c/o: Dr. Michael C. Irving
274 Rhodes Ave.
Toronto, Ontario
Canada, M4L 3A3
THE SAMARITANS OFFICIAL YOUTUBE CHANNEL has favourited my video 'So Sad WAS I' which I wrote about calling the Samaritans helpline a few years ago. click on the link to watch it on their channel, and show support to them by sharing their YouTube channel too: http://www.youtube.com/user/samaritanscharity#p/a/f/2/EpB1UJOjMGE
The Samaritans helpline is here 24 / 7 Are you vulnerable? Feeling low? Then why not call: UK: 08457 90 90 90 Ireland: 1850 60 90 90 www.samaritans.org
I'm also looking to do some more things with a couple of charities in the new year. Will post about it, if and when it happens
I do have hopes and I have
some dreams
But my life is not at all what it seems.
It's
not little girl parties where everyone goes,
It's all about secrets that no one knows.
I go to sleep my eyes
full of tears.
Nobody must know about all my fears
I wake up dreading the day to begin,
It'll happen again, there's no way to win..
I'm searching for
love from anyone I see,
But no one’s around, there's only me
I'm
searching for help but none can be found.
I close my eyes and pray that
he's gone,
Then open them up and see I'm not alone
He's there to hurt me and there's no place to
hide.
I just wish I had someone on my side.
I bathe and bathe to wash him away,
No matter what I do he seems
to stay.
I pray for someone to protect me at night.
I wish for someone
to just hold me tight.
I wish for friends,like all little
girls do,
But I'm left all alone in this room when he's through.
Will I
ever be like you want me to be,
Will I ever be someone that anybody
sees
I live in a world of constant fear,
I cry out in pain, but there's
no one to hear.
The stranger i knew was a family member. Always treated me kind and showed alot of love towards me. But i didnt know that the love he showed would deceive me. He made me feel like a prisoner. He brought me to a dark and dreary place. A place only seen in a nightmare. The way he touched me paralyzed me and made it difficult to escape. He made me feel like a helpless child without a mother. His lips touched mine as if there was some type of magnetic force pulling us together. I wanted to scream for help but i couldnt allow myself to do so. He stayed close to me as if he was protecting me from harm. But he was the one harming me. I allowed everything to go on for weeks because i was trembling from fear. In the end the stranger i knew was my uncle.
We both walk around as if nothing happen as if you didnt do anything to me. As i look in the eyes of my abuser who i call my stepdad and he looks at me, his eyes seem to tell me a story. Its our little secret. No one will ever know. No one will believe you. And he smiles. Fear grows inside me and disgust just runs through my veins. I cringe at the sight at him. Why does he have to be like that? Why cant i do anything else to stop him? Those were the questions that ran through my mind after the abuse had occur. But he doesnt know that i have broken the silence and the vow of that secret. He will no longer have control of me. He can look me in the eye and think that no ones know but hes wrong. Thats my little secret. No more silence. Original poem i just came up with.
explanation that I’d only taken the pills because “I was being silly”?
You accepted this unquestioningly when I was made
to call you late at night to tell you of the overdose.
I interrupted your television.
Your acceptance that everything was all right was quick.
It tells me you didn’t want to know.
I WANTED YOU TO KNOW.
Rest of the pills flushed away.
Sent home two days early, on a bus.
Hoping, hoping, hoping – “I am in trouble”.
The bus ride delivers an empty shell
to the depot and I am deposited
by the designated pick-up person at your doorstep.
Fear engulfs the empty shell
walking through the door wanting.
Short cut to the bathroom first…
Tentative steps into the lounge…
All is normal. The TV is on and Dad in his chair grunts “Hi”,
and you ask “was the bus trip ok?”.
I go to bed. I am relieved I don’t have to explain. Left to find yet another way to tell you as you chose to stay blissfully ignorant.
Ann-Marie Stapp 22 February 1995 (age 29)
In the last year I have realised that when I am in a period of remembering, or old patterns are getting in the way, I have three layers of abuse to deal with. The act of the sexual abuse by whichever perpetrator, the lack of protection before or care after the events and then the layer of the professional abuser.
Does not matter which one I start to experience terror or rage or shame around first, their would two other layers to follow.
When I reread the writing of February 1995, I can see that that process was in operation then – writing a poem around the sexual assault, then the question of where was my protection and safety, and then the layer of being re-abused in a professional setting.
The worst of all my experiences is the neglect. I call the ones who perpetrated the neglect “the neglectors”. I was not protected in the first place and I wasn’t looked after afterwards
It is in the last year that I have managed to redefine the trinity of terror, rage and shame to where it is needs to be – fear, anger, sadness. My birthright of feelings alongside pleasure, love and joy.
Here I am writing about a therapy session. Trying to find ways to give my life words to a witness. The hardest bit to deal with was my sexualised responses. I knew I had been sexualised to violence from the incest but through being professionally incested, I had become sexualised to gentleness. I was sexually responding in the therapy room. I chose to stay even though I had no words for it and have only just begun to articulate the worry of that for me.
Ann-Marie Stapp 9 March 2008 (age 42)
A difficult one to post today. Exposing. And adult themes. Many counsellors makes statements about "recovery being hard work". My response to that, "it’s not recovery when you never had it in the first place, it’s getting".
Dressing in black clothing was my only way to show grief. I walked out of my dorm room, pushed the front door open and started to run. One step after the other, one heart beat after the other. It seemed as if they had the same rhythm. It was like the beating of drums faster and faster, and suddenly the beating stopped. Behind me there was a never ending darkness. But in front of me, there was a black glass lake. The moonlight reflected onto the lake just enough to show that there was light and not total darkness.
Suddenly I was 13 years old again. Sitting on the corner of my bed waiting for the night to be over, I heard the limbs from the mango tree outside knocking against the cracked window pane. The wind seeped through the crack, woo woo. I thought it was a ghost. The ghostly sound was broken by the screeching of the wooden floors beneath my dangling feet. I quickly scrambled back under the covers, pulling them over my face. As I lay there, waiting in fear, a long shadow smeared across my bedroom wall. Peeking through my very thin blue and purple covers, I saw him. It's going to happen again, oh no! Maybe I should get up and run away, I thought.
The tall dark shadow, not a stranger but a familiar face, sat next me. As he sat down, the bed sunk downward causing me to roll towards him. The man I wished were a stranger sat there watching me, waiting for some sign of acceptance. He grabbed my covers and threw them to the wall in rage. I could imagine his eyes squinted together and his eyebrows leaning forward towards each other. I could hear heavy breathing in my ear and the pounding of a heartbeat so hard that I could see it beating through his chest. My heart seemed as if it wanted to burst out of my chest, crying for freedom. But, I didn't open my eyes to see. I couldn't open my eyes to see and part of me, didn’t want to. Maybe its a dream.
My eyes were closed so tight that I could feel the tension run from my eyelids causing my blood vessels to tighten, depriving my brain of oxygen. I cannot breathe. 10, 9 8, breathe, 7, 6, 5, 4, breathe, 3, 2 and breathe, 1. What people said about counting backwards and how it helps to calm you down, well it didn’t help me to calm down that night. My body shivered with fear. It was as if I was lying naked in the white snow. Trees all around me, "I'm free!" I am always free in my dreams, just don’t wake up. Waking up every day, was simply waking up to fall into the depths of nightmare, a never ending nightmare.
The fear ran through my body, like a cold wind on a winter day. I hope he doesn't feel me shivering. But if he did he didn't pay it much attention; maybe he did notice and just didn’t care. My fear turned him on, it made his blood rush faster and faster. His stare was like fire burning a hole through paper. Still with my eyes closed as tightly as possible, I prayed. Dear God, help me to be strong. Stop him from doing what he is about to. Help me to be strong. God, please¦!.
Suddenly, I felt my cotton soft night gown slide over my face. There was total darkness. I simply lay there. It was like I was waiting for something to happen. Something I knew deep inside I could not have stopped, but wished I did.
My underwear came off and the dark shadow came over me. He covered my entire body, physically and emotionally, in every defining term of the word. He had me where he wanted me and I did nothing. I wanted him to stop so badly. Help me! Stop him! Please God! I'm sorry God if I did something wrong. I promise I'll be a better person. I promise. Please. The dark shadow pushed my legs open, placed his hands on my childlike waist and pulled me towards him. I gasped for air as if I was drowning, and my prayer was broken. I inhaled and held it for a few seconds. Part of me hoped that I would stop breathing all together. As I exhaled a build of tears ran down my face and blood ran down my thighs. I grew up that night. (take a moment of silence)
The shadow that was once a familiar face to me was now a total stranger. He stood up and threw the covers over me, as if I was his BITCH! I lay there, scared to get up. My heart was pounding, and my lungs bursting as if I had forgotten how to breathe.
Every Fucking night, every night, until I was 16, I relived that night over and over again. Every night I felt a hand squeezed my heart relentlessly without mercy. I felt more anger than hurt. I became numb to the pain. I hid it from the world at least to those in denial.
I even started to fool myself. I walked around for years, deceiving myself, pretending that life was all good, and that I had the best father, loving and protecting. He wasn't any of these things. But I was the only person that saw that.
Years of stabbing myself with a dagger covered in blood, depression, hurt and death, had come back to finally kill me. I had a choice to make, to be defeated him or to be defeated by him. Reality hit, it wasn’t a dream, I didn’t actually believe my lies, and no one would take the first step for me, I had to do it myself. I'm 22 years old now, I chose to defeat him with everything in my soul.
Art Works for Change produces traveling contemporary art exhibitions that address social and environmental issues. It applies the transformative power of art to promote awareness, inspire action and provoke dialogue. The exhibitions serve as catalyst and crucible where artists, museums, advocacy organizations, and the local community can unite in common cause. Off the Beaten Path: Violence, Women and Art is an art exhibition created to address the basic human rights of women and girls to a safe and secure life. The exhibitions has traveled globally since 2009. Tour the exhibition virtually at: http://www.artworksforchange.org/otbp_virtual.htm
Gabriela Morawetz, Poland
J’ai reve que… (I have dreamed that…), from The Sleeping Self series
2008-2009
Photographic transfer, emulsion and wax on canvas
The bed is supposed to be a place of dreams, a comfort zone where one goes to rest the body and mind. But for some, it is a place where the body is violated, trust destroyed. The beds in Morawetz’s Sleeping Self series have accumulated mysterious objects, transforming them. A mattress is piled high with bubbles or fragile glass balls. A figure is entombed in filaments of light, or are they brightly lit nails? As in a dream, these images are removed from any particular time and place. Sometimes the figure is missing altogether, leaving the viewer wondering what has happened to the vulnerable sleeper.
Surveys have revealed that one in every three women has experienced abuse during her lifetime. Some girls’ first experiences of sexual intercourse are coerced or violent, often with a member of the immediate family. When a family member is the offender, it can be difficult for the survivor to talk about or comprehend it. If the family is dependent on the offender, either financially or emotionally, the victim will often not disclose, taking on responsibility for the whole family at the expense of her own safety, well-being and mental health. Once incest is disclosed, responses vary from acceptance and support to disbelief, denial, shame, grief, anger and disgust. A survivor may feel responsible for disruption in the family.
my parents didn't look like pediphiles & sexual molesters. upper middle class...they both had great jobs ~ my dad was the business manager of two successful coorperations. my mom stopped working at a job she loved, a few weeks before i was born, to be a stay-at-home mom. they were friendly, energetic, well liked, charismatic leaders in both the community & church (still are). it all looked perfect on the outside...but only a few months after i was born, they began sexually abusing me.
but really, what does a pediphile/sexual molestor look like? i was always taught that they sneak around schools & play grounds, look creepy & was taught not to talk to these strangers because they might hurt you. well, the people hurting me, turning love & affection into sexual abuse...using me as a sex toy for their own pleasure...were the people who meant the most to me in the whole world! the people i loved & trusted to take care of me!
since the abuse started when i was a tiny infant i never had a moment where i knew this was me & that i you. i was just an extension of them. if they wanted what i had ~ me ~ they took it. i never knew what a boundary was. that lack of boundaries affected my life profoundly...
it was on a business trip, in the back of the company van that i was first raped at age four. i clearly remember the shiney silver door handles & how the light came through the windows & that my head was hitting the back door, but i don't remember much else because by four i'd mastered the skill of dissociating & separating from my body. when he was done i was leaning against the van wall hugging my knees to my chest, not wanting to move. but he was hungry & took me by the arm, removing me from the van. we sat across from one another & ate pancakes. later that day. i sat on the edge of the front seat (pre-seat-belt-laws) & talked to my dad about whatever. a girl needs her dad & at four i wasn't able to grasp the gravity of what had been happening all my life. i talked a mile a minute, like only a four year old can. he was listening to npr & watching the road. maybe it was when he adjusted the dial on the radio or turned up the volume, but i realized that he wasn't hearing or listening to anything i said. i leaned back against the seat. devastated. the abuse continued for years. i remember when he came in the room, i think it was the last time, i was 15. he came in to teach me "how to be a good wife". i remember it in a dreamlike way. not really wanting to be awake ~ not able to sleep through it either, yet hoping it wasn't happenning.
their abuse didn't stop just because they stopped sexually touching me. as an adult, it seemed every time i came home to visit & would be taking a bath, my mom would find some reason she had to come into the bathroom, now! she always commented about my body, which creeped me out. what further disgusted me was that i knew she was going to tell my dad! a few years ago we were all shopping in macy's & my mom tells me "dad just said, 'wouldn't michal look great in that negligee.'" my dad was standing there, along with others & i was so humiliated i wanted the tiles in the floor to open up & swallow me. they acted like this was nothing out of the ordinary & i guess for them it wasn't!
we were constantly told by our parents what a great family we had. how lucky we were to be part of this family & how perfect our father was. mom compared him to a saint or an angel often! it's crazy making when you're being told one thing by everyone outside & inside your home, but in your soul there is another truth that remains unheard.
the last time i'd visited my family, i'd noticed that my niece was showing signs of abuse & not being her usual self ~ running out of the bathroom screaming, if my mom was in there ~ she also started peeing her pants again at three years old, & she wouldn't sleep without the nightlight on & her sibling in the room, still she was having nightmares that she'd wake up crying & screaming from! because i didn't want my niece to suffer from a life of abuse at my parent's hands. i found the strength & courage to tell my sister what had happened to me as a child & my concerns about about her daughter.suddenly everything changed. reputation was more important than a child's safety! she never spoke to me again & i haven't seen her children since! when i confronted my parents, a few weeks later, they completely denied everything ~ saying i had a contrived, manipulated imagination! i lost my entire family in a matter of weeks. it's important to stand for the truth & to speak up, even if you stand alone!
while i think this road to healing may be a lifelong journey, i'm grateful to be on the road & no longer in the ditch somewhere... i am healing! art has helped me through all of events in my life...to stay grounded. it helped me find my voice! now i hope my art will help others find their voice & that it brings awareness to the horrific crimes of child abuse & sexual assault! maybe i couldn't save my niece. someday i hope she knows i tried! but i will do everything i can to help other children not have to live through the trauma that i did. it affected everything i did! every decision i made or didn't make.
remember your braver than you think & stronger than you appear!
light & love for continued healing! michal madison
An international campaign is underway to help save dual German – USA citizen 8 year old Ariana-Leilani. She currently lives in Washington DC faces unnecessary risk of death from the very rare untreatedSevere Chronic Neutropenia’ a broken immune system that can be treated with the only medicine, “nupogen.” Since Ariana-Leilani’s illness is so rare, she is one of less than 1000 people worldwide on the Severe Chronic Neutropenia International Registry (based in Germany and the USA). Since she is on the SCNIR, she can receive the medicine for free, and also she has health insurance in both the USA and Germany.
The world experts have all agreed that while Ariana-Leilani will likely look healthy, untreated Severe Chronic Neutropenia can mask the early warning signs of fever and other signs of infection, leaving less than the 18 hours for an unnoticed deadly infection to clandestinely kill Ariani-Leilani, causing the “toxic shock, loss of limb or loss of life.”
The big question is:Since Ariana-Leilani is very sick and can die from her illness, yet there is a medicine to treat it that she can get for free, then why is she not getting the medicine and medical treatment that she needs?
For over 3 years Ariana-Leilani has been waiting for someone to stand up as assure that she does not die from a treatable disease. She is still not receiving the life saving medicine, nupogen or the full physical and psychological exams requested by the German Government.
Death from neglect – not receiving available medicine to avoid unnecessary fatal risk -- is unacceptable in the US. Hundreds of people from a 100 countries around the world support Ariana-Leilani’s right to live, expressed outrage and shock that no one in Washington DC the seat of world power is helping this very ill child.
ALERT - WOMEN! An Ottawa woman, a ‘miracle worker’ doctor and an alternative to hysterectomies. Ottawa author, patient and advocate, Holly Bridges launches her book ‘The UNHysterectomy: Solving Your Painful, Heavy Bleeding Without Major Surgery’ with Dr. Sony Singh who performed her surgery. "Now, of the 300 procedures he does each year, he can use minimally invasive procedures in 95 per cent of c...ases" The 2…
Healthy Boundaries as a Leader in Your Congregation: What You Need to Know May 22, 2012 from 11:00 am to 12:00 pm Pacific Time Zone Presenters: Marie Fortune - Mark Dratch - Jamie Romo (Bio below) Upcoming Webinars — FaithTrust Institute Free and Open to the Public ...In order to have healthy boundaries in ministerial relationships, faith leaders and their followers must share responsibility. How can we expand this conversation to include lay leadership at the congregational level? Rev. Dr. Fortune, a minister in the United Church of Christ, founded FaithTrust Institute in 1977. A graduate of Yale Divinity School, she is a pastor, educator, and author as well as a practicing ethicist and theologian. Her books include Keeping the Faith: Guidance for Christian Women Facing Abuse and Sexual Violence: The Sin Revisited. A leader in the Jewish domestic violence community, Rabbi Dratch has expertise and experience in issues of domestic violence and abuse and has a track record of successful achievement—counseling, advising, writing, lecturing, advocating and formulating policy. He is the Founder and CEO of JSafe (The Jewish Institute Supporting an Abuse-Free Environment). Dr. Romo, a Commissioned Minister in the United Church of Christ for Healing and Healthy Environments, earned a Doctorate in Educational Leadership from the University of San Diego in 1998. He is a certified Primordial Sound Meditation Instructor with the Chopra Center for Wellbeing, and is a certified consultant with the A.K. Rice Institute for the Study of Social Systems. His most recent book is Healing the Sexually Abused Heart: A Workbook for Survivors, Thrivers and Supporters. REGISTER http://www.faithtrustinstitute.org/training/events/701A0000000WMeMIAW This webinar is sponsored by a grant from the Lutheran Community Foundation as a part of their Ending Family Violence Initiative and their work to end the enduring epidemic of domestic violence. MORE WEBINARS COMING UP http://www.faithtrustinstitute.org/training/upcoming-webinars
True your wheels through "thank you" and recognizing and expressing "praising" when warranted and meaning it, which will contribute, to WORLD PEACE? How: Country by country, community by community, home by home, adult by adult, child by child. How: Starting through YOU! with your family, YOU with your work, YOU with your church ... YOU within your daily interactions. Children follow adults e....g. monkey see monkey do approach. When Children hear nothing but criticism they will criticize (or similar negativity verbal and physical -- turns into 2nd nature automatically). Praising when not warranted gives confusion in mixing up what is right/good/true. When criticism is needed let it be constructive criticism. This is important. This will have a ripple true effect throughout their life. I know, I know it won't happen overnight ... but if you start now ... diligence will make a difference ... you'll see, I do believe. Can you see the ripple effects as well? I do ... 'Thank you', Dr. Laura Trice reiterates, the power of these two words is incredible and worth remembering; they have the potential to strengthen all relationships and repair bonds http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4K9VnFzpvw&feature=player_embedded
Not With My Child (NWMC)is an educational predator awareness program for parents and communities. We provide a unique insight to the way child predators operate. We educate and empower parents, and communities to intervene and protect children from child predators. NWMC is the Community Education Program ofGrandparents and Others on Watch, Inc. (GrOW). GrOW is a 501(c)(3) corporation organized under Missouri's public benefit law. We currently have representatives in central Missouri, southwestern Missouri and in southern California. We focus on prevention. We deal only with the community, the media, and public agencies in carrying out our mission. We are self-funding. We sell no products or services and we provide our programs free of charge (donations are gratefully accepted of course). We will accept nothing less than zero tolerance of any sexual advances or assaults on children by adults. Not With My Child informs and educates the public about child predators and pedophiles in order to eliminate the threat that they pose to children. Through public education and community service, we strive to make the world a safer place for children. We are dedicated to informing and educating the public about the danger that child predators represent. We have been working with law enforcement, children’s groups, and internet service providers since 2005 to keep child predators away from our kids. Child sexual abuse is now an epidemic. 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before their 18th birthday. The median age for reported sexual abuse is 9 years old. If your child is molested, there’s a 90-95% chance it was done by someone you know, not by a stranger. These numbers are unacceptable.
I have been asked to speak at a MAV ( men against violence) event. They are affiliated with the White Ribbons, and had a couple of lovely young men from their organisation come to our Take Back the Night event. I felt quite honored to have been asked to do this for them and thought I should share it here.…
Please send personal stories/pics/art/words of your sexual assault expierence for Holocaust of Innocence Wall facsasavethechildren@html.com We will launch the FACSA Foundation Virtual EXPO at a later date. If you would like your personal story, pic, art, etc. expressing your sexual assault expeirence to be entered on a national and global platform, to advocate awareness and education of child sexual assault and prevention, email information to facsasavethechildren@hotmail.com FACSAFoundation thanks you for following us on this incredible journey. I look forward to getting to know you. http://youtu.be/pwA8n1v99zo
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